Alone and happy: Learning to be consciously alone has three advantages

There is a difference between alone and lonely: the former is usually based on a free, very conscious decision and does not always go hand in hand with negative feelings, while the state of loneliness is usually accompanied by a feeling of lack. But how do people manage to be alone – and what can advantages be? The star illuminates positive effects of being alone.

Social scientist Bella Depaulo is considered a “voice of the singles” and has been happily lived alone for 70 years. She writes in her book what people constitute, whose satisfaction do not depend on other people: “They can act in important situations, such as at work, for example”. This is partly due to the strengthening self -reflection, which enables them to be alone, the expert writes. In this way, “convinced loners” get to know valuable coping strategies, with which you can master difficult everyday situations without help.

A rather self -explanatory positive factor of conscious being alone: ​​you are free and independent. Nobody who would like to eat Italian and who we bend, although we might have preferred to eat sushi. So there is freedom for the very own needs, which you sometimes only notice and live out when you are alone. Society is also an important factor for long -term satisfaction. But that should not fill holes in life, but enrich it.

Marie-Luise Ritter also wrote a book about the positive sides of being alone. In describes her what it does with her when she is alone. And reveals how to manage to be alone with yourself and confident. In an interview with the star She calls a positive effect that arises: “What surprised me the most is that when you are traveling alone, you are actually much less alone. That sounds a bit contradictory at first.”

But she explains: “It is about being at peace with yourself and being able to enjoy the time alone. This automatically develops a more open basic attitude, especially when traveling – and get to know people who might not have met if you had taken ‘your home’ with you.” This becomes more receptive to new encounters. “I think that’s the best thing about being alone: ​​Everyone is only a fraction of a second away, you can always decide to make a new connection if you want that.”

In order to get these positive effects of being alone, it is essential to first deal with yourself – without constantly being distracted by the presence of others. However, this self -exploration can also happen that painful experiences, stirring memories or self -doubt come up, which are sometimes difficult to assume. However, the American social scientist and author explains that you get to know your own strengths and weaknesses better through this persistent confrontation with yourself. The work is worthwhile and experts agree: only those who know themselves well can use their strengths and weaknesses in everyday life – without being dependent on the judgment of others.

Knight confirms: “We live in a very loud society in which a new message pops up almost continuously or a new task is coming up. Of course, that also helps you to suppress unpleasant feelings and ignore needs. If you really have silence, then all these repressed things come up.” Many people couldn’t stand that at first – but it is worth wondering in between whether you are actually on the right track or maybe just run because it is comfortable.

Ritter’s tip to learn to be alone: ​​”A good first step is to consider the time with yourself as equivalent with the time that we spend with other people. Many bustle the time alone than enjoying them – then only make a ready meal instead of cooking for themselves or saying the concert of your favorite band before you go alone.” This attitude must change in order to consciously enjoy solo experiences. Meditation, in which you consciously perceive your own thoughts, as well as possible therapies, in order to be able to process painful experiences, are other possible approaches so that it is not possible to experience the alone as stressful, but as satisfactory.