A phrase that may sound harmless actually has great weight behind it. When you say it to the kids, it can impact the way they process mistakes and repair them. I know which one it is.
All parents want their children to be happy and successful. However, mistakes are often made in the words used, which can influence their development.. A prominent sociologist of the Ivy LeagueEdit warns about a commonly used phrase that, far from helping, could have lasting negative effects on children’s psyches. Find out what it is and what alternatives there are.
According to Columbia Business School professor Adam Galinsky, Words have the power to build or destroy a child’s confidence and self-esteem.. In her upcoming book, Inspire: The Universal Path for Leading Yourself and Others, Galinsky delves into how certain seemingly innocuous expressions can have significant consequences on children’s emotional and academic development.
One of the most problematic phrases is “I am disappointed in you.” Although many parents use it with intention to correct errors or motivate positive changesits impact is usually the opposite of what is expected. According to Galinsky, this comment induces feelings of shame rather than promoting learning.
Shame: what are its consequences on children
Shame, Galinsky explains, is a debilitating and destabilizing emotion. When children feel embarrassed, They tend to avoid confronting their mistakes, which limits their ability to learn and solve problems.. Instead of creating an environment where they can reflect and grow, Shame blocks their critical thinking and leads them to avoidance.
On the other hand, Galinsky points out a key difference between shame and guilt. While shame paralyzesguilt can be a motivating force since it encourages children to repair their mistakes, face the situation and look for solutions.
This is essential for developing problem-solving skills and a sense of responsibility. “Guilt leads to reparation, while shame often leads to avoidance.”says Galinsky. This nuance is crucial to understanding why certain phrases can be more harmful than helpful in parenting.
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How to motivate children’s confidence
Instead of resorting to expressions that generate shame, Galinsky suggests more constructive and motivating approaches. For example, if a child failed to complete a task, instead of saying “I’m disappointed in you”, you could choose a question that encourages collaboration: “How can we organize ourselves so that you can do your homework on time?”
This type of feedback opens the door to practical solutions and reinforces the idea that mistakes are learning opportunities. Shifting focus from criticism to cooperation creates a more positive environmentwhere children feel supported instead of judged. This not only improves your self-esteem, but also promotes critical success skills such as critical thinking, organization, and problem-solving skills.
The role of parents in the success of their children
Parenting is not only about correcting mistakes, but about guiding and motivating children towards the development of their maximum potential. Carefully choosing the words used with them is a powerful tool to achieve this. Phrases that inspire trust and collaboration can make a significant difference in their emotional and academic development.
Galinsky remembers that the goal is not to prevent children from making mistakes, but teach them how to deal with them and learn from them. By taking an approach based on empathy and problem-solving, parents can help their children build a strong foundation for success.
Source: Ambito
I’m a recent graduate of the University of Missouri with a degree in journalism. I started working as a news reporter for 24 Hours World about two years ago, and I’ve been writing articles ever since. My main focus is automotive news, but I’ve also written about politics, lifestyle, and entertainment.
