Talking about money with your partner is considered unromantic. But that doesn’t have to be the case. financial expert Lisa Hassenzahl explains how couples can start a conversation about financial topics – and grow from it.
Do you know that? You are newly in love and want to talk to each other about everything and everything – just not about money? Because that really kills the romance? Or you have already moved in with your partner and after the first time of the colorful butterflies you are amazed to find that you tick quite differently when it comes to finances – and that stresses you?
Maybe you’ve been together for a long time and have a bigger income difference? This can make one of them even feel inferior – especially if you don’t talk about it.
Why do we often find it so difficult in partnerships to talk openly about money? That has a lot to do with dreams, goals and the future. Because depending on what you wish for your future, you behave today in relation to your money. Well, ideally – let’s assume that you’ve given some thought to your dreams and goals.
Boldly asking questions about the future
So when we talk to our partner about how we deal with money today, we almost automatically come to our own long-term goals and wishes for the future together. Of course, we also come across differences – and these can be uncomfortable or even frightening. Because the existential question always resonates: Will it work out with us in the long run?
But if we have the courage to address and acknowledge possible differences, we can look for ways to live with them really well. In this way we avoid disputes and unpleasant situations and meet at eye level. And these are the best conditions to enjoy your love here, today and in the future, even when there is no money!
Five pieces of advice from the expert
Now how do we get there?
Lisa Hassenzahl, expert for finance and partnership in the “Brigitte Academy Masterclass Finance”has put together five valuable pieces of advice for you:
- phrases like “You do not talk about money” or “Love shouldn’t be about money”, you should banish from your thoughts, if you haven’t already done so. Especially in a partnership in which you trust each other and tell each other everything, the subject of money should not be taboo. On the contrary. Couples who talk openly about money and finances act as equals. And after all, the topic of finances is always connected to the future, joint plans and dreams – so very romantic.
- If one of you doesn’t have a clue about finances, that shouldn’t stop you – on the contrary. It’s normal not to know everything and it’s nice to learn from each other. Talk about it openly, and rules of conversation can also help so that there are no arguments or disappointments. The topic of finance is much more emotional than it appears at first glance. Couples often shy away from such conversations because they are afraid of discussions. But they are part of it, and as a couple you grow from it. The issue of income difference is sometimes a hurdle, but the same applies here: you are a team. You can find solutions, but they don’t come by themselves.
- Pay yourself first: Especially as a woman, it is very important to actively shape the issue of money in partnership and family planning and also to make demands. Raising children and housekeeping are worth at least as much as any other job. It is important that you do not lose sight of your own financial planning in this case either. Plan together how you can find balance. Write these down. And above all: Find arrangements in the event that the partnership or marriage ends!
- Joint accounts are a stumbling block: An account for your joint expenses such as rent, groceries or joint insurance makes a lot of things easier and is therefore really useful. But watch out: With a joint account, each and every one of you always automatically owns half of the money. In this respect, you should keep your reserves or larger sums from bonus payments or similar in your individual accounts. This makes it easier to understand in the event of separation, avoids tax problems and, if in doubt, disputes.
- So, let’s go: so that you really stick to it, arrange a money date right now. Gladly with a delicious meal, that lowers the hurdle. And then just start. Discuss what money means to you, how you imagine dealing with your finances together and your planning. That really makes you want to deal with these topics together, doesn’t it? You can only win!
If you would like to go even deeper and see what exactly you and your partner should have in mind in which relationship phase, then come to our . There are a lot of tips for lovers, engaged couples, for couples who want to draw up a marriage contract, for married people, for families – and also for when love ends. In the masterclass we also look at your joint and individual costs and discuss methods of how you can divide them up sensibly and how best to structure your accounts. We talk about investments for your children, real inheritance and inheritance as well as parental and child benefits. And of course it will also be about your own retirement provision.
Source: Stern
Jane Stock is a technology author, who has written for 24 Hours World. She writes about the latest in technology news and trends, and is always on the lookout for new and innovative ways to improve his audience’s experience.
