Many are affected by the current crises, also financially. Mr F. pulls the whole team down with his negative thoughts at work – and he doesn’t want that at all. Mental health expert Reinhild Fürstenberg explains how he can break the negative spiral.
Mr F. works in a small, successful online shop. He always had the feeling that turbulent times – whether private or professional – could not really affect him much. He always felt stable and balanced and could always rely on himself and his strengths in stressful situations.
For a few weeks now, however, he has noticed that the negative influences from outside and the many crises are bothering him – which surprises him himself. During the consultation, he says that he is hardly able to think positively anymore and that everything is just a burden for him. At night he often lies awake in bed, his thoughts constantly revolving around his uncertain future. He no longer turns on the radio station that he normally likes to listen to in the bathroom to wake up in the morning, in order to avoid the bad news.
When he thinks about the Advent season, which he looks forward to so much every year, he gets a very uneasy feeling. How is he supposed to feel enjoyment and joy when the world is almost ending outside? If it is not clear whether he can still cope with his rising energy costs? Apart from the other private problems? How is he supposed to concentrate at work and still find it exciting and enriching if he doesn’t even know whether the next catastrophe will break out tomorrow and maybe even his job will be lost?
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Mr. F. is now in such a negative spiral that he not only restricts himself considerably in his job and in everyday life, but also burdens his colleagues with his issues and worries. Of course he doesn’t want that – but he can’t get out of the situation alone either. After a colleague told him that she could hardly bear his negativity anymore, he pulled himself together and made an appointment with us.
Active countermeasures
The consultant, who specializes in exactly what he is looking for, encourages him in his decision not to just let things take their course, saying that this is a very valuable step. After Mr F. has described his situation, the counselor asks him a question that is unusual for him at first: whether he knows someone who has come out of a long, serious crisis or difficult time well. He affirms and names his grandfather who was in the war. Mr F. reports that his grandfather often talked about terrible war experiences and how difficult it was back then.
The counselor asks specifically whether Mr F. knows what helped his grandfather to get through the time. Mr F. ponders. It occurs to him that his grandfather always drew a lot of strength from contact with his family, his friends and acquaintances. They went through time together, which relieved his grandfather. For example, to distract himself from all the bad images, a friend of his grandfather started a weekly skat game. War topics were then taboo – it was about being together and switching off together. PAID STERN 2019_49 The Daily Nightmare_09.40
In addition, his grandfather was involved in rebuilding his brother’s carpet business after the war. Together with their closest friends and family, everyone worked on not staying in their misery, but on building something new for themselves. That felt good for everyone. They had a perspective that gave them strength. And it always helped me not to give up.
The counselor discusses other things that come to mind with Mr. F. and also what he can in principle derive for himself from her question and grandfather’s answers. Namely the impulses that helped him at the time not to give up and to look ahead – even if the times and general conditions are not comparable at all. It’s about finding out what can be learned from past crises. What helped. And to recall those things in the next challenge. Job coach traumatic event 11.49
These points can help
The counselor and Mr F. work out a few basic points that Mr F. can always use as an anchor in turbulent moments.
- With a good perspective, we can deal more easily with challenges. The task for Mr. F. is to think of a place where he can always go when everything is getting to be too much for him. This can be your own allotment garden, which always blooms so beautifully in summer, or your favorite small, quiet bay on vacation.
- Mind control is a valuable exercise in a situation like this. First, I put myself in the position of a seagull and observe what I’m thinking from afar. If possible five minutes at a time. For most, this is an interesting cinema. At the same time, smiling a little at yourself often helps to become more light-hearted. In the next step, I consciously think of something good, no matter how small. It helps to write down three positive things of the day every evening so that I can increasingly see the beautiful things again and thus overwrite the negative thoughts.
- Good, social relationships are particularly helpful in challenging times. They give support and trust. Mr F. should check whether he has enough people in his private life and at work who are there for him. And whether he actively maintains these contacts and meets them regularly.
- The workplace can be a good place to feel positive feelings and experience appreciation. We see our strengths, our performance and the results of our work. We work with colleagues in a team and pull together. We make a difference, we are effective. That connects.
- What makes us feel good? Is it the exercise in the fresh air? That piece of favorite chocolate in the evening? The morning chat with the neighbors at the garden fence? Mr F. will think about what is good for him and consciously integrate these things into everyday life.
- If we have very specific issues that bother us, we can also examine what we can do in very practical terms. If I have less money available, then I can, for example, see what helps me. A conversation with the landlady? Leaving the gym in favor of jogging in the woods?
- If bad news is too much of a strain, it helps to limit media consumption – and not to be online every minute. Or, for example, limit watching videos because they stay in your head longer than pictures. And that’s why it’s easy to grab a classic newspaper every now and then.
- Endure & persevere: On difficult days, it can help to make a conscious decision to just endure and persevere. And just let those thoughts stand. It’s often a little better the next day. You can maybe make it a little easier to endure with a visit to your favorite café or a good film.
Get the curve at work
Finally, the counselor goes into how Mr. F.’s fears affect his job. After all, his colleagues are already annoyed by his negative view of things. The counselor recommends not expressing negative thoughts to your colleagues, but instead talking about neutral or positive things.
An exercise that requires discipline, but helps to improve thoughts and feelings. For words are a manifestation of thoughts. In addition, Mr. F. can signal his colleagues like this: It’s getting better again – it’s my turn and I’ll take care of it. Ultimately, this not only improves their well-being, but also their mental health and thus their quality of life.
Case study from the consulting practice of the Fürstenberg Institute. The case was anonymized with the consent of the person concerned.
Source: Stern
Jane Stock is a technology author, who has written for 24 Hours World. She writes about the latest in technology news and trends, and is always on the lookout for new and innovative ways to improve his audience’s experience.
