Relationship with narcissists: consequential damage to future partnerships

The article comes from the Stern Archive and was first published in October 2022.

The narcissistic personality disorder, a term that is often used too lightly in everyday life can be far more dangerous for a partner than it appears at first glance. Narcissists usually appear very charming, gracious and, above all, fascinating. Often it is intelligent people who quickly win their environment for themselves due to their rousing species. But this positive first impression evaporates as soon as you start manipulating and breaking your counterpart.

A narcissist usually looks for a partner who also exudes strength. Anyone who has been inferior when you get to know the first thing does not constitute a challenge. The actual “challenge” for a narcissist in a relationship is to make a strong partner compliant or even break. Professor Udo Rauchfleisch, expert in clinical psychology and psychotherapist, spoke in an interview with the “Business Insider” portal about the long -term damage that former partners of narcissists can carry – damage that often affects later relationships.

After the initial phase of a relationship with a person who suffers from this personality disorder, the mood often quickly convert: What initially appears “magical” and “perfect” will soon change into manipulation, suppression and devaluation of yourself. Narcissists know how to blame your partner for each own misconduct until he feels that he has to constantly run on egg shells.

The typical properties of narcissism include empathy, egomania and arrogance. These mean that even narcissists cannot stop torturing their partner through blame and manipulation if they already suffer visibly. They continue until the other is completely on the ground and beg and begs for forgiveness. “The fact that you will be helpless and desperate and in the end may think that you are to blame for the behavior of the partner is very clear when you are permanently devalued and manipulated,” explains Rauchfleisch, the consequence of manipulation.

But even if the partner is broken, most narcissists find no peace. At that moment the “victim” loses its challenge character, which appeals to the narcissist. A narcissist’s partner begging and asks, he is often uninteresting and often punished with love deprivation and ignorance. Professor Rauchfleisch says: “The narcissistic disorder is about a self -valuing. It is always about who is stronger and who is weaker. The person saves their self -worth by suppressing others and exaggerates itself.”

“It is said that narcissists have no empathy,” analyzes psychotherapist smoke meat, and adds: “I think that’s not true. They have empathy, very high. But unfortunately they only use them to feel where others are vulnerable and where they can take advantage of something for their own advantage.”

A relationship with a narcissist can have serious long -term consequences for the psyche – right up to a post -traumatic stress disorder. This can not only cause mental damage to the partner, but also significantly burden future relationships. As an ex-partner and victim of such a personality disorder, it is often difficult to trust in new relationships, many blame themselves for a lot and lose faith in love and partnerships. Anyone who was or is in such a toxic and traumatizing relationship or notes corresponding behavior patterns in themselves should not be afraid to take advantage of professional help.