Why some people feel guilt after saying no, according to psychology

Why some people feel guilt after saying no, according to psychology

October 6, 2025 – 14:00

The reason why many people fear to refuse to do something out of fear is something that science is occupied.

He say no” It generates in many people a sense of discomfort that goes beyond the simple response. Guilt appears when individuals prioritize the expectations of others about their own needs and desires. This psychological phenomenon is related to fear of being perceived as selfish or uncommonwhich leads to accept unwanted commitments to avoid conflicts or rejection.

The difficulty for Establish clear limits It has deep roots in emotional development. From childhood, many people learn to please others is a virtue, while refusing is associated with negative attitudes. This education conditions the answers in adult life, where “no” becomes an emotional challenge.

people talking on the street

The reason why people feel guilty by saying no

The psychoanalyst doctor Juan Eduardo Tesone explains that The ability to say “no” develops from early childhood. “Around the second year of life, the child discovers this word as a tool to affirm his subjectivity,” he says. However, in adulthood, many people face difficulties in exercising this basic right.

Tesone points out that the fear of contradicting others arises for different reasons: “It may be due to fear of breaking tiesto submission to the demands of others or the perception of ‘no’ as an act of violence. “This last idea is particularly relevant, since many people associate rejection with aggressiveness, when in reality it is an expression of freedom and self -determination.

Psychoanalyst Mirta Noemí Cohen deepens this aspect from a different perspective. “Saying ‘is not’ is to exercise the paternal function, that is, establish limits that protect both oneself and others “he states. Cohen compares this action with the protection that a father gives to his son: “It’s like not letting him into the sea alone, because the risk is greater than in a pool.” In this sense, putting limits is not an act of selfishness, but of care and responsibility.

Clinical psychologist Lucas Vázquez Topsian brings another dimension to the analysis. “Those who cannot say ‘not’ are usually trapped in the demands of others”he explains. These people find satisfaction in being perceived as indispensable, but pay a high price in terms of emotional well -being. Vázquez Topssian points out that “guilt appears when their own or other people’s expectations are not met, generating suffering and self -reproaches.”

Guilt, according to these specialists, It is a complex feeling that fulfills different functions according to the psychological structure of each individual. At normal levels, it promotes responsibility and repair capacity. However, when it becomes excessive, it becomes a source of anguish that leads to acting against their own desires.


Source: Ambito

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Latest Posts