Previous studies have suggested that people vary considerably in their flirting skills, with the poorest flirting being more likely to come from singles. In their new study, the team aimed to further explore variation in flirting skills by identifying what constitutes a deal breaker.
More than 200 participants filled out open-ended questionnaires about the flirting tactics they found the most distasteful. Their responses were then tested on a group of more than 700 separate participants, who were asked to rate how distasteful they found these traits in a partner.
Based on their results, the researchers identified 11 key deciding factors for flirting. Having a “slobbery approach” turned out to be the most off-putting flirting tactic, followed by poor hygiene and a lack of exclusive interest. Divergent opinions, vulgar language and lack of intelligence followed, followed by narcissism, lack of humor and low self-esteem and excessive intimacy. Finally, the participants said that poor appearance and stinginess were also decisive factors for flirting.
“People can become more effective flirtation initiators if they work on their approach, avoid making, for example, obscene and sexist comments, touching and being overly intimate, and also avoid flirting with more than one person at a time,” the researchers wrote. researchers, led by Menelaos Apostolou, in their study published in the journal Personality and Individual Differences. They added, “People can also improve their flirting by improving their appearance (eg, taking care of their skin) and not being stingy (eg, offering to pay the bill).”
Women were found to be more sensitive than men to almost all 11 deciding factors. “One of the reasons is that women bear a larger share of the mandatory parental investment in child rearing, so they face greater risk than men if they make a mistake in choosing a mate.” , the researchers suggested. “Consequently, women have evolved to be more selective and risk-averse than men, which is reflected in their greater sensitivity to these factors.”
Meanwhile, older participants were also found to be more sensitive to flirting dealbreakers than younger participants. “Younger people aim more to gain experience in relationships with different partners than to establish a long-term intimate relationship. To this end, they lower their standards, in effect becoming less sensitive to these flirting tactics.”
On the other hand, according to experts, as people get older and more experienced in relationships, they become more interested in finding long-term partners, have higher partner standards, and are therefore more sensitive to these factors. . The researchers hope their findings will be useful for people who struggle with flirting.
The full list of factors that constitute bad flirting:
- Slimy approach
- Poor hygiene
- Lack of exclusive interest
- Different points of view
- vulgar vocabulary
- lack of intelligence
- Narcissism
- Lack of humor and self-esteem
- excessive intimacy
- Bad appearance
- Stinginess
Source: Ambito
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