“I don’t know if I would have survived childhood without alcoholism”he told People magazine in an interview published Wednesday. “That’s why it’s such a big problem for a lot of people.
“It really is a great comfort, a great relief at first. Maybe even the early years for me because I started very young with that as a consolation, as my defense mechanism.
The actress writes in her book, which hits stores May 17, that being intoxicated for the first time was a “revelation.”
“I always liked Passover. As I sipped Manischewitz, I was allowed throughout the seder for a light to wash over me, filling me with the warmth of God,” she recalls in a preview obtained by People. “But the year I was seven years old, when we basically had Manischewitz on tap and no one was paying attention to my level of consumption, I put it together: the feeling was not God but fermentation.
“I thought ‘Well, this is a big disappointment, but since I happen to get the warmth of the Lord from a bottle, thank God there’s one here.’ I got drunk that night. Very drunk. Eventually, I was put in my sister Katie’s bed with her. In the morning, she didn’t remember how she got there.”
Blair said that when he first started drinking alcohol, he didn’t get drunk and just took “quick sips whenever [su] anxiety decreased.
“Usually I barely get drunk. I became an expert alcoholic, an expert at hiding my secret.”writes.
Selma Blair revealed that she was raped on more than one occasion
Her alcoholism worsened when she reached her 20s, and the actress detailed that she was raped during a spring break trip to college after a day of drunkenness.
“I don’t know if they both raped me. One of them definitely did.”, remember. “I made myself small and kept quiet and waited for it to end. I wish I could say that what happened to me that night was an anomaly, but it wasn’t. I have been raped several times because I was too drunk to say the words ‘Please. Stop.’ Only once was it violent. I walked out of every event calm and embarrassed.”
Blair revealed that she only told her therapist about her rapes, but decided to include the stories in her memoir because it was an important part of the healing process.
The actress also wrote about how she was sexually assaulted as a teenager by one of the deans at the Cranbrook boarding school she attended in Bloomfield Hills, Michigan..
Seeing him as a trusted mentor and friend, Blair says, “I thought he was the greatest man I had ever met. Elegant. High. so generous. I’m sure you can see where this is all going. But at the time, he couldn’t have predicted it. I trusted authority. I was just a teenager.”
The day before the winter break of the first year, she went to his office to say goodbye and he crossed the line.
“We hug. He felt too long, too still, and too quiet,” he writes. “His hand went to the small of my back, tracing the space just above my tailbone. His lips were on my mouth. Please, I thought. Please don’t go under my pants, my dress code-approved Ralph Lauren khaki pants into which I carefully tucked a plaid shirt. Please. You are an adult and I love you; Please don’t put your hand down my pants. But he did. It was something simple. He didn’t rape me. He didn’t threaten me. But he broke me. Nothing happened to him again, but I never felt safe.”
“Writing that stopped me in my tracks. My sense of trauma was greater than I thought. I didn’t realize that assault was so central to my life. I had so much shame and guilt. I am grateful that I felt confident enough to put it on paper. And then I can work on it with a therapist and with other writing, and really ease that burden of shame on myself.”
Blair remains sober in 2016 and chose to share her story to help others who have struggled with addiction. “I wrote the book for my son [Arthur, de 10 años, con su ex Jason Bleick]… and for the people who are trying to find the deepest hole to crawl into until the pain passes,” he told the magazine.
Source: Ambito
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