Lena Jensen was abused as a child, but she fought her way back

“Always go where the fear is.” That was what Lena Jensen’s therapist once demanded, of whom the 28-year-old says today that she “saved” her back then. Back when, after four years, the sexual abuse she experienced as a small child was finally over, but the processing had only just begun. Jensen followed this advice consistently and has never looked back. Today the Hamburg resident is a financial advisor who specifically helps women in difficult situations, as well as an actress, model and influencer. And she is currently applying for the title of “Miss Germany”. You only really understand how amazing these successes are when you know their history.

Jensen does not want to talk about the perpetrators from back then. “They were people who were very close to our family. People I was very familiar with,” she says in an interview with the stern. For a long time she did not understand what was happening to her: “I had the feeling that it was so normal.” However, her mother noticed that something was far from normal. “Mom went to see a lot of doctors with me because I had such behavioral problems. Then at some point we were sitting on the bed and she said very directly: ‘Lena, I can tell that something is wrong. Has something happened?’ We spoke there. ” Lena Jensen’s martyrdom began at the age of two and ended at the age of six. But: “That’s when the trauma started, because then I noticed: They are not allowed to do that! I also felt very guilty because I didn’t want to cause any trouble.”

The perpetrators were never convicted

Following this conversation, Lena Jensen and her family did everything that should be done in such a case. They did all of this right. “My mom went straight to the police with me and I gave the testimony. I was able to tell a lot, everything was recorded on video,” reports the young woman. They put a bright spotlight and a camera in front of her face, “I think that’s better done now,” and her statement was recorded. Almost without anger in her voice, she says: “But unfortunately it was not enough. Some things in the investigation did not go so well.”

Nobody could doubt her descriptions, the police sent the then six-year-old to the hospital and had her examined. Doctors confirmed the abuse. “I have the medical report,” she says stern-Interview. But the alleged perpetrators could not be specifically proven to be guilty. “I kept trying to report them,” she says. Now she has accepted that there is nothing more she can do than she has tried all these years. “So that’s okay now.” But while Lena Jensen and her family moved shortly after the abuse was discovered, the perpetrators were able to stay in their neighborhood. While friends turned away from the Jensens and questioned the girl’s statements, the perpetrators kept their surroundings and their acquaintances. “Everything went on for them. I saw them again at some point, where they even played with children,” says the young woman.

The way back to life was tough

But it went on for them too. It was just infinitely harder. “As a child I tried to kill myself. I actually stood on the school roof,” she says, almost embarrassed. “They then took me to a psychiatric hospital.” But she didn’t really find the help she needed there. Jensen felt that the doctors and psychologists themselves didn’t quite know how to deal with a case like hers. “That was in 1999, a time of upheaval. Before that, something like this had not been discussed at all, perhaps because it happened to so many people in the post-war generation.”

But a therapist became aware of the girl through media reports about the abuse case. “She was one of the first to practice EDMR therapy. Then she came to me and tried it on me.” At first she was skeptical, says the 28-year-old. So far no one had been able to help her – why now this strange woman. “Then she said: ‘Close your eyes and imagine something that you really want. Then I’ll help you achieve that.'” Jensen imagined she was standing on a stage and singing. In front of an audience. She, who was so afraid of people and who the doctors had attested to as having a pronounced social phobia. She who stuttered – ever since the perpetrators had so often and so urgently forbidden her to speak about what had happened. She, who often didn’t feel her body at all, despite therapies and mud packs. They, whose hands were often so tightly cramped because “when you are so angry, the body becomes very, very tight at some point.”

Lena Jensen would recommend therapy to anyone affected

EDMR is a therapy method with which trauma-related disorders can be treated in adults, but also in children and adolescents. In Germany it has been used since the 1990s, and eye movements are used, among other things. This helped Lena Jensen to deal with what had happened and to focus on the future. “I didn’t want to be limited by other people’s limitations. I didn’t want to let the rest of my life be stolen from me as well.”

But it wasn’t easy. “What was very difficult for me: to have relationships after trust had been abused in such a way. In puberty it was very difficult for me to get physically involved with men. I didn’t tell everyone that straight away, which often happened led to misunderstandings. ” She has always deliberately looked for “dear” men who can be trusted, she says. Today Jensen is engaged. After two months of relationship, she spoke to her partner Lukas about what happened to her as a child. “Relatively early by my standards. He reacted really well.”

A career that suits her

Jensen, who moved to Hamburg to study law, which she then decidedly broke off at the end of the day (“because one’s own sense of justice is not always what the law is”), now works as a self-employed financial advisor. Above all, she helps women with their economic affairs because that is important to her. “We also had difficulties back then, I grew up in not so rich circumstances. You had a lot of contact with finances and legal texts, and you felt yourself how much it can be about livelihoods.” You have always wanted to do something useful and help others.

The acting training, which she also completed, was more for herself. Because it was all that she feared – and her therapist once gave her the mantra “Where there is fear, there is the way”. “I was looking for a way to deal with my own body and found that it worked for me in an artistic direction. I never found myself so pretty, you are given an image from the outside. But you have one straight away different self-reflection, if you look at yourself from the outside. Then you can see that it doesn’t matter how your face is shaped, for example, but only the charisma. ” Since then she has been making commercials and modeling for photo shoots.

Why it is so important to speak openly

Due to the regular shoots and photo sessions, Lena Jensen almost automatically used the Instagram platform very early on, “at that time it wasn’t that well known”. She now has more than 70,000 subscribers there, with whom she shares her beautiful photos and insights into her life. She recently revealed her childhood experiences to them too. “It used to be like a shame, like a burn mark on your skin. I often felt as if I was disgusting because of it. And I had the feeling that when I tell you I’m always reduced to that. It’s a shame that you are like that often not seeing the whole person, because something like that also makes you stronger. But: Because of this shame, the perpetrators also have protection. ” And she wants to take this protection away from them by speaking openly.

“My mom taught me that. She said: ‘We’re talking about it openly now, in the family, it’s part of you now.’ If you have something that belongs to you, you can also talk about it. And suddenly you see around you that so many others feel the same way – at the time I thought I was the only one. I felt so lonely! ” She tells of a particularly moving experience: “My best friend came to me ten years after I told her about it and said it had happened to her too. If we had talked about it earlier – we would have had each other! That’s why I want to call for people to talk about abuse and to stick together, because this deprives the perpetrators of the protection of silence. “

Content instead of appearance

That was ultimately the motivation for her to apply for the “Miss Germany” election. At first sight irritating, because a Miss election is more likely to associate misogyny and radical reduction to the outside world. “I was never a fan of beauty pageants, I thought it was superficial,” says Jensen. “But I read this year that they want to change that. And that they are looking for women who have a voice and want to inspire. That is exactly what I am looking for, I just want to have a voice and say to the people out there: It can also end positively. “

In advance, the candidates had to write texts in which they should get to the heart of their specific message. Such tasks are fun for Lena Jensen. “You question and reflect on yourself again.” She is one of a total of 160 candidates, the group is then reduced to 80 by an audience vote, then again to 40 by a jury, until it goes to the grand finale at some point. “I think I have a very good chance,” she says confidently. “I’m very determined, very authentic, and I take part out of conviction. My aim is not necessarily to win, but to be there for as long as possible and get my message across. It’s a real affair of the heart.”