Singer Sarajane: Comparisons among mothers “make a lot of pressure”

In autumn 2020, in the middle of the corona pandemic, singer Sarajane gave birth to her son. This brought “so many” challenges, as the judge of the TV show “All Together Now” tells in an interview with spot on news. She processes her life as a mother on the new album “Milk & Money”, which was released recently. She has now also released the title track. The cover shows Sarajane bare-breasted breastfeeding – a courageous decision. “Before I had the baby, I wasn’t sure if I could breastfeed easily anywhere,” says the German-British pop singer.

You’re shirtless and breastfeeding on the Milk & Money album cover. Did this cover cost you an effort?

Sarajane: Not at all when shooting. It wasn’t a planned pose, my baby woke up after his nap and was hungry. It was an all-female set and the top was borrowed, so I took it off to breastfeed. The photographer just kept taking pictures. So the cover was a successful snapshot. Shortly before I published it, I was jittery for a moment, of course. But there, too, I was less concerned with people seeing my breasts than with the possible online backlash (negative reactions, editor’s note). Arguing on the internet would have been exhausting.

Why is it important to you to break with supposed taboos like breastfeeding in public?

Sarajane: Each of us came from a woman. Our bodies are made for it. Luckily, whether or not to breastfeed is a personal choice, but humans are mammals. And just because we humans can have fun with our nipples, we shouldn’t forget that they actually have a job. But I have to say that I quickly become defiant when someone tells me “something doesn’t work” or “you can’t do something like that”. But that only happened with motherhood. Before I had the baby, I wasn’t sure I would be able to breastfeed anywhere so easily. But when your child is hungry and starts to yell, you experience what adrenaline is and do almost everything possible to calm down and pulse back to normal life!

How has your professional life as a mother changed? How do you reconcile everything?

Sarajane: I can’t reconcile everything (laughs). I have tougher deadlines now. If there is something wrong with the child, then other things will be left behind for a short or longer time if quarantine situations still arise due to the pandemic! Fortunately, I am flexible with my working hours in my job. And in the evenings at the concert, the little one usually sleeps.

Her son was born in the middle of the corona pandemic. What challenges did this bring?

Sarajane: Oh, so many. I would have wished for more family around me and more financial planning security. My 2020 was fully booked until shortly before the birth and even after that there were job inquiries. When all that fell away, I got really nervous. When you first walk the baby for hours, it would have been nicer to be able to warm up in cafes instead of sitting on a cold park bench. But it also had advantages. I hadn’t planned a baby break in that sense, but that resulted from the club closures. Of course, it was also good for us as a family to be able to devote 100 percent to the new task and to get used to the new situation!

How does your son react to your music?

Sarajane: He jumps up, throws up his arms and calls: “Mummy!” He loves music! Top three are Ella Fitzgerald’s “Dream a little dream of me”, “Juice” by Lizzo and from my songs so far it’s “Don’t care about no ring”, “Some more coffee” and “Milk & Money”. He likes to dance.

Comparisons are the order of the day on social media, especially among mothers. Do you see a danger in this?

Sarajane: Oh yes! Comparisons, no matter where and with whom, make so much pressure! Every body and every child is different. From time to time I did real talk with many of my colleagues, because Instagram and TikTok only depict a very small part of reality, if at all. It’s really stressful when you see mothers walking around three days after giving birth doing reels like nothing ever happened. It didn’t look like that at all to me!

On your album you reflect, among other things, on how having children has changed over the generations. What did you take with you from your mother and grandmother?

Sarajane: I have great women in my family. Everyone showed so much strength. I grew up believing that I could do anything, that there was always a solution, that I was incredibly optimistic, but above all that there was always someone there for me. I hope that my grandchildren will be able to say the same about me.

You grew up in a large blended family. How did that shape you?

Sarajane: I love family! It’s often annoying and exhausting, but it enriches me a lot. If you grow up with many different people, then you also experience different life plans, different approaches and life paths. I think that made me a very tolerant and open person. It doesn’t matter whether you are related by blood, married or in a partner: we stick together like sulphur!

If you want to prioritize or be a role model, look for self-love first. Why is this important to you?

Sarajane: I want to set an example that you’re okay the way you are. That’s the great thing about babies, they’re just work and you still love them. In English it also means humanbeing and not humandoing. (Picture, in German about: One is valuable because one exists and not because one does something specific, editor’s note.) But when I say that, I can’t nag myself at the same time: “Oh, how I’m stupid because I forgot this or that” or “Please don’t take a picture of me the way I look right now”. I think the inner monologue is something kids pick up on. Albeit subconsciously. It’s important that we all be more ourselves, rather than wanting to be like someone else. Only then can we draw from the full!

In the song “FUPA”, for example, you lovingly turn to the belly roll, which many people are probably familiar with. What is your advice to people who cannot accept themselves – and their FUPA – as you can?

Sarajane: I also have days when I’m not so good at it. If it bothers you a lot, you can do something about it. But even if you say “The bacon has to go”, then you are still just as lovable as a person as without. So for me it’s not necessarily about saying “I think you’re beautiful”, but rather “appreciate and respect your body”. Instead of not putting on the dress for a summer and not eating the ice cream, I find: “Show yourself as you are! You’re okay!” Writing is often therapeutic! I often need motivation. Now I’ve made a song out of it. He gives me a nice feeling while listening and then I put the dress on even if you see my FUPA. Because I’m able to do it! I wouldn’t have been able to do that a few years ago.

In a stressful everyday life, it is important to always take time for yourself. How do you take such breaks and how do you organize them?

Sarajane: I’m not very good at it, but I’m planning a spa day at the hammam right now! In order not to go crazy, however, small breaks also help me. A cup of tea and a biscuit. All right, or let’s say five biscuits. On the way to an appointment listening to music that empowered me. Listen to an inspiring audio book on the way back from daycare. Sit in my shower tray and pretend it’s a bathtub, candlelight and all. Or go swimming. Then you don’t take your mobile phone with you, you don’t hear any music, only the rushing of the water and your own breath.

You are a judge on “All Together Now”. How much fun is your TV job?

Sarajane: The job at “All Together Now” was a lot of fun. 100 colorful freaks in one bunch, all passionate about music That can only be a good thing! I met so many great new people and made friends. When the candidates belt out songs that you love so much, you are brought back in time to your own beginnings. It was pretty exciting! I would do it again anytime! I also love to babble.

Could you imagine being involved in other TV shows as well?

Sarajane: Absolutely! I’ve moderated a lot in recent years, live at festivals or panel discussions, and I just love talking to people. I can very well imagine doing more in this direction. I discovered the “Kelly Clarkson Show” on YouTube. An amazing singer who does a TV show with her own band, sings her favorite songs and talks to creative people. Brilliant! There aren’t enough opportunities like this on German television. If Ina (Müller, editor’s note) needs a replacement in the haddock post, I’d be there too! Is just down the street