Charming, handsome, intelligent, almost too perfect to be true. A narcissist is often adept at disguising himself early in a relationship, but this personality disorder can be downright dangerous.
Psychologists warn against them and yet the attention on the topic “relationship with a narcissist” is far from big enough, because the number of unreported victims of narcissists seems to be high. There are countless victims, especially among successful, good-looking and also intelligent people, because narcissists like to look for partners on an equal footing in order to break them.
The personality disorder narcissism is used far too colloquially and inflationary these days because there is a difference between narcissistic traits in a character and a full blown personality disorder. And the second can lead to serious consequences for a partner in a relationship, up to and including post-traumatic stress disorder, which can also affect subsequent relationships.
Narcissism states that people with this personality disorder have little empathy, high egomania, and an excessive need for power, which they often achieve through manipulation. Most of the time, this group of people only looks at their own advantages, which they derive from a partner, often in the form of subservience, boasting, for example with the partner’s appearance or financial advantages. But penetrating this scheme takes time and good analytical skills, because narcissists are masters of duping. On the outside, people with this disease are also very charismatic and adjusted, even helpful and eloquent. But as soon as the front door closes, things often look different within a couple relationship.
In the process of getting to know each other, they convince with a masterpiece of manipulation, they say and do things that one has always dreamed of. This is how the victim thinks they have found the perfect partner. Over time, however, they play the nastiest manipulations and power games.
These behaviors make a narcissist so dangerous in a relationship:
- Manipulation, in order to reach their goal, their advantage or to gain power over the other person
The result: the partner does things that one would never have done under normal circumstances - gas lighting: The narcissist denies things or phrases that happened and declares the other paranoid
The result: the partner begins to doubt his perception - exercise of power: The narcissist makes it very clear that they are prettier, richer, smarter or whatever and that the other should duck
The result: the partner’s self-esteem suffers greatly - Lie is its second nature, it happens almost automatically
The result: often a complete loss of trust in the partner - To cheat on is often the norm for the narcissist, he needs various victims in his bondage to enhance himself
The result: Eternal distrust from your partner, or if you find out, loss of trust - taking advantage: The narcissist only looks at themselves and their benefits
The consequence: Possibly financial debts with the partner, but at least emotional disadvantages - sanctions: If the partner does not spurt, he is sanctioned, often through ignorance
The result: the partner often feels helpless, desperate and panics, with serious consequences for mental health
In a partnership, narcissists engage in emotional abuse with their partner, which not only leads to mental illness, but can also have a psychosomatic effect on the whole body. A permanently increased stress level, which psychologists have even equated with the feeling in a war, can be the result of the narcissistic actions of the victim.
Source: Stern
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