Domestic violence occurs in a lot more relationships than most people think—the last time we saw it was in a high-profile case. In order not to end up in a partnership with psychological or physical violence, it is advisable to pay attention to early indications.
From professional soccer players to the last idiot around the corner: Domestic violence against women is widespread. Every third woman in Germany from the age of 16 experiences violence at least once in her life, every seventh sexualised. Violence against women knows no culture, social class, origin, religion, it can affect everyone. Psychological violence is also increasing, especially in relationships, but there is still too little talk about it and too little education.
A current, prominent example: On November 2, 2022, footballer Jérôme Boateng was sentenced to a fine of 1.2 million euros for assault in court. The 2014 soccer world champion was accused of insulting, hitting and injuring his then partner and child’s mother, who appeared as a joint plaintiff in the proceedings, on a Caribbean vacation in 2018. This shows once again: psychological and physical violence in relationships is more common than you think.
Psychological violence is more complex than physical violence, even though both forms of domestic violence are usually based on similar character traits. Even during the dating process, one can sometimes perceive indications of whether a person is particularly abusive, controlling, domineering or aggressive.
Yves Saint Laurent Beauty’s “Love Without Violence” campaign has set itself the task of preparing women for such warning signals at an early stage and published nine characteristics that one should pay attention to in a partnership or when getting to know one another, in order not to get into a domestic relationship to advise violence. If the other person has the following characteristics, extreme caution is required:
- Ignorance: Whenever anger arises.
- Blackmail: When you refuse to do something.
- Humiliation: With the aim of oppressing you.
- Manipulation: You shall do and say what is asked of you.
- Jealousy: In everything you do.
- Control: Over where you go and how you look.
- Invasion of your life: Your cell phone is searched or your location is tracked.
- Isolation: You are cut off from friends and family.
- Intimidation: You are declared insane and scared.
Victims of domestic violence in a relationship need to understand: you are not alone
However, psychological violence in a relationship does not exclude physical violence. It is quite possible that you will be manipulated, intimidated and humiliated, for example, and then at some point your partner will raise their hand against you. Many women are ashamed to admit that their loved one has become violent, but unfortunately Jérôme Boateng’s example shows once again that it can happen to anyone.
Some of those affected are also afraid to break away from their partner or to take legal action against them. There are contact points for this, such as , which you should definitely use to get advice or help. In an emergency, especially in the case of physical domestic violence, you should of course always contact them.
But the current case law against the professional footballer could also have something good: namely, to encourage all women who are experiencing or have experienced domestic violence to fight back.
Sources: , YSL
Source: Stern
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