After the Rammstein video: Kayla Shyx is back

With her video “What really happens at Rammstein’s after parties”, YouTuber Kayla Shyx, whose real name is Kaya Loska, started a debate about sexual assault and the abuse of power by men. At that time, she supported the allegations against Rammstein singer Till Lindemann with her video by reporting on her experiences at one of the notorious after-show parties. What followed was a fundamental debate about the social status of women and the subject of victim blaming.

In the course of this, it was criticized that men in positions of power are apparently still far too often allowed to do whatever they want, while the victims are blamed for it. The presumption of innocence applies to the perpetrator, but not to the victim – that is a fundamental problem in today’s society.

“I am very overwhelmed, touched, surprised, frightened”

Now – almost two weeks after her first video – Loska is back on YouTube. In her new video “The aftermath of the Rammstein problem,” the 21-year-old goes into how she has been in recent weeks and also talks about sexual violence against women in general and her own experiences with the subject.

Loska begins the video with the words “I am very overwhelmed, touched, surprised, frightened”. She is currently feeling “all kinds of emotions”, but first she would like to thank all the people who have given her support and love recently and who have given her attention and a platform.

After Rammstein video: Kayla Shyx retires

Since her video for the Rammstein after-show parties went viral almost two weeks ago, she has felt very burdened. With such a difficult, extensive topic, the burden increases “the deeper you go into it,” she says. Accordingly, she initially had to withdraw after the first video, realizing how much the debate about sexual assault and harassment had done to her. She was very afraid and worried about speaking publicly about “such a difficult topic”.

Because of this, she was neither on social media nor in the media after the upload to take mental care of herself. When she was online for the first time a few days ago and saw how far the video had reached, she was shocked.

Debate on abuse of power and sexual harassment

“I really thought I’d drop dead,” she says. “I was in shock and still am. It’s so scary to know how many people have seen the video and how many people have focused on me in this whole debate.” Although she knew that the video would reach some people, she never expected this level of reach – the video has now more than 5.4 million views (as of 06/20/23).

But that’s not all. In the past few weeks, she has received more and more messages from girls who, regardless of the Rammstein debate, have also been sexually harassed and have now felt encouraged to open up. “I felt such a responsibility. How do I deal with it? What should I do? How can I be there for everyone? What am I doing now anyway?” The YouTuber describes her emotional world.

“My video raised a big debate about abuse of power (…), about sexual harassment in general,” she says. For the first time, women felt seen, gained the courage to talk about it, to open up and “to even acknowledge what happened,” Loska summarizes. The topic is particularly emotional for her, as she herself has had similar experiences.

She talks about her own experiences with sexual harassment

At the age of 17, she herself was sexually harassed and violently attacked – “by someone I saw as a friend,” she reports. That’s why she didn’t file a complaint at the time. The biggest problem, however, was that she never acknowledged what happened and even justified the situation. She says: “I completely blocked out what happened (…). And then at some point I was sitting in an Uber, just reading something online about sexual harassment (…) and suddenly it clicked for me. And the memory of That one night of sexual harassment came out of nowhere.”

When realization arrives, the most difficult thing is “to admit that you were the victim and that you weren’t in control (…)”. That is very scary, says the 21-year-old – and can also have effects afterwards. Three and a half years later she had to go to therapy because of post-traumatic stress disorder and had increasingly shown post-traumatic reactions: “I had panic attacks (…), I couldn’t sleep because of it.”

About the loss of control in abusive situations

Especially in the first weeks of therapy, she still couldn’t admit to having been a victim, continued to justify the situation and blamed herself. Today she knows: Those were only self-protection measures. “To make myself feel like I could have done something differently,” she elaborates.

Unfortunately, in situations of sexual abuse, it is often easier for women to “just let it go.” If you fight back and get loud, you would admit that you are in danger – and that’s a scary feeling. At the time, she too tried to keep the situation “as small as possible”, although “everything in her screamed”. But she thought that was wrong. Although people tend to always want to appear and avoid confrontation, it is still important to speak up and act. She appeals: “You can defend yourself, you can be loud, you can say something if you feel harassed – be it verbally or physically.”

Shyx on Rammstein video: “I would repeat everything in court”

Above all, however, it encourages those affected to file a complaint. In doing so, she also refers to the women who have reported sexual offenses to Lindemann in recent weeks. The fact that the Criminal Police Office is now investigating Lindemann is “really big,” comments Loska. She admires the courage of these women to go to the police and report Lindemann despite all the difficulties regarding the power imbalance. “Unfortunately, our world works like this: if you have a lot of money, get the craziest lawyers and have power, if you’re one of the biggest German music stars, then it’s harder to get hold of you,” she explains. However, that is exactly what has to happen.

She too would testify in court. “I would repeat everything in court. I don’t care what happens to me,” says the YouTuber, referring to the first Rammstein video. Even if Lindemann’s lawyers try to intimidate and write cease and desist letters to women, journalists and the media, one should not let this influence them.

“These women have no advantage in reporting this man. It’s a waste of time, it’s court costs, it’s a burden. The only thing these women want is justice. Justice for themselves and their bodies,” Loska refers to the two plaintiffs in Berlin, even offers them the opportunity to contact her. She says: “You can contact me, I want to be there and support you. You don’t have to go through it alone.”

“The more women report, the more women will be protected”

Whether Lindemann or not: Loska is convinced that women should no longer tolerate sexual assault and should defend themselves. “Listen to your gut feeling, your gut doesn’t lie!” She emphasizes. She herself had already filed a complaint against an adult man who had behaved in a verbally abusive manner. In the end he didn’t get a punishment, but she did something with it. Because if other women experience the same thing and report this man, the third entry in the file will take a closer look, she explains.

Her conclusion: “The more women talk about it, the more women address it, the more women report it, the more women are protected.” And that’s the point. Our society’s job is to believe, protect, encourage and listen to victims. Because that’s the only way the perpetrators can be held accountable.”

Source: