“Ex, leave me alone!” – Why separation is often so difficult for us

Opinion

Do you remember the time before smartphones and social media? Me, yes. And I miss her. Blessed were the years when you were left alone when you wanted to be left alone. Today the smartphone is like a constantly nagging wife, constantly admonishing and watching over us all, spitting out to-dos and information in a reproachful tone all day long. I bet that everyone has had an argument with their partner at least once in their life because: “You had a blue tick on WhatsApp and still didn’t answer me.” That is the severity of the problem. And a tragic basic constellation at the same time.

A dedicated line to the outside world, extremely exhausting, and not just because of the constant flood of information that the digital device dumps on us. But also because the cell phone plays with our emotions, not unlike a cult leader. It just uses its algorithms, which are unsurpassable in terms of baseness.

My smartphone exerts psychological terror

You sit unsuspectingly over your first coffee in the morning and try to find out what your name is again and what year and day it actually is, but then, “Pling”, your cell phone spits out a push message and wants to present you with beautiful memories. Drowsy, you scroll through long-ago hours until your ex-boyfriend jumps out in your face. It doesn’t have a mood-enhancing effect, but you’re still awake, even without caffeine. The cup that just seemed half full is now definitely half empty.

The smartphone is the press of the past. The summer sale of all those feelings that you don’t need but are thrown at anyway.

And the review entitled “Beautiful Moments” can only be understood as sarcastic impudence. To escape him, you quickly switch to the social media platform Instagram as a distraction; a few cute puppy videos will definitely help. But as I scroll, the next shock comes: the photo platform also throws the ex-boyfriend’s face at me, so smiling and happy that I don’t even remember him, sold with the words: “Suggestions for you”.

How kind, Instagram, how caring, but no thanks.
Been there, done that.

In those legendary and definitely better times before the Internet, if you didn’t want to talk to someone anymore, you simply didn’t answer the phone. You stuffed the memories into a box and had three options: attic, garbage can or, for the really aggressive, set them on fire. Unfortunately, it’s no longer that easy these days. Especially not when Apple now also uses titanium.

Your ex-boyfriend sticks to you like chewing gum

Now you are harassed on every app. While LinkedIn tells me that my ex has just worked his way into a higher salary bracket (how nice for him), Airbnb shows the last trip we took as a couple. And even among the social media postings that haven’t been sorted out yet, there are comments and likes from the ex-boyfriend. They mark the territory with written scent marks for new acquaintances. Like a virtual tree that he has peed on for all eternity.

My ex sits fat and brash in every digital cell of my outsourced electronic brain. As if this guy hadn’t already cost me enough energy and storage space during the relationship, he runs through my digital world like an ulcer. The only solution is to delete and block it until the doctor comes.

But how come you ask, understandably desperately? So, the best thing to do is to start with a list of the portals you are connected to and go through them one by one. Let’s continue with the photos: on the laptop or in the cloud, if you still want to keep them, definitely off your cell phone. And yes, that really turns into work. Blocking helps with social networks. If that’s too overdramatic and final for you, you should at least delete the phone number in your contacts so that your smartphone doesn’t have a chance to link with the stupid phrase “suggestions for you”.

And when you’ve done all that and all you’re left with are unwanted night dreams about your past love, when he no longer plays a role in everyday life, then… the phone rings and he writes a message in the middle of the night: “Hey, well, “Still awake? How are you?” Because they’re all coming back these days. At the latest when Apple shows them the most beautiful moments together as a slide show.

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