What sex has to be like so that you really want to have it

Hardly any phrase in recent years has made me think as much as this one: “Sex worth wanting.” It comes from the Canadian sex researcher Peggy Kleinplatz and translates as “sex you can’t get enough of.” That sounds really, really tasty, right?

At that time, the following question immediately popped into my brain: Am I really experiencing “Sex worth wanting?” And what does “sex I can’t get enough of” actually mean to me? That’s when a light bulb dawned on me because I had to admit: I don’t have the kind of sex that leaves me completely fulfilled – and that I can’t get enough of. Sure I had orgasms and yet it wasn’t as tasty as Cookies & Cream from Häagen Dazs. For the ice cream, I would go out at night to get supplies even in the rain.

So if sex feels like “so-so” and not like “yummy yeah,” then you don’t want to have it again and again. It’s so.

Tantric massages with my husband were a sexual dead end

I always thought I had good sex. Until, as a new mother, I became more and more dissatisfied with our sex. Something was missing. But I couldn’t say what. . There I experienced for the first time unintentional touch, an intimacy without roles, masks and pressure to perform, as well as an orgasm in which I stood in the universe and was one with the stars. This was definitely Cookies & Cream – this was sex that I couldn’t get enough of.

So I persuaded my husband to learn tantric massage with me, but it was a bit of a flop and a sexual dead end. So I researched further and came across Peggy Kleinplatz again. The sex therapist dealt with what sex has to be like so that you really, really want to have it. Now! Immediately!