“Why am I doing this to myself?” is something most people in a relationship have asked themselves at some point – and whether life as a single person might not be more relaxed. A psychologist analyses this thought pattern.
Relationships require a lot of work and care. Sometimes you have to turn a blind eye and it can happen that your partner gets on your nerves so much that you wonder whether you might not be happier as a single person. But how do you find out which life situation is the best for you?
The American psychologist Mark Travers got to the bottom of this question in the “Forbes” magazine. In his analysis, however, he also stresses at the beginning that each relationship must be viewed individually. He then describes three cornerstones that can be helpful when answering the question: Do I want to break up and be single?
Happiness in a relationship
“A happy relationship will make you happier than being single, but a bad relationship can make you much unhappier than being single.” In other words: relationships make you happier, but only good ones, is the psychologist’s conclusion. Although Travers cites several studies that show that people in a relationship are only slightly happier on average than singles, that after some time in a relationship the level of happiness drops to the level before the relationship and that more happier people are entering into relationships, his conclusion is: you have to assess your individual situation – weigh up the advantages of your current relationship against the advantages of being single, and consider both short-term and long-term perspectives.
Whether you are single or in a relationship, you often want what you don’t have
All that glitters is not gold
The psychologist gives the urgent advice: Regret will be a part of you in every decision. If you decide to stay in your current relationship, you may later regret not giving yourself the opportunity to explore other paths. However, if you decide to break up, you may wonder what could have been and whether better times would have come with your partner. It is important to ask yourself carefully: Which regret hurts more in the long run?
Trapped in the past
The third point to consider is whether the doubts about the relationship might be due to the fact that you yourself are living too much in the past. Do you often indulge in nostalgic thoughts about how beautiful and relaxed life as a single was before the relationship? The psychologist warns against glorifying the past, because that time will never come back.
Sources:,
+++ Read also +++
Source: Stern
I am an author and journalist who has worked in the entertainment industry for over a decade. I currently work as a news editor at a major news website, and my focus is on covering the latest trends in entertainment. I also write occasional pieces for other outlets, and have authored two books about the entertainment industry.
