Stella Stegmann will be the first bisexual “Bachelorette” to date men and women. She wants to use this role to ensure visibility.
Stella Stegmann (27) is making a debut on “The Bachelorette”: She is the first protagonist of the RTL dating show to get to know both men and women. She wants to find the right person for life from 20 candidates. The influencer has experience in this, having already taken part in “Too Hot To Handle”. The influencer will begin her new dating adventure on August 26th (every Monday after that).
For Stegmann, who speaks openly about her sexuality on Instagram with her 385,000 followers, the job as “Bachelorette” is a great honor. Visibility is important to her, as she reveals in an interview with the news agency spot on news. She also talks about her fear of flirting with strangers on the “Bachelorette”, her relationship concept and what makes dating men and women so different for her.
You are the first “Bachelorette” to date men and women. So for you, the long-established concept of “Bachelorette” has been shaken up – how does that feel?
Stella Stegmann: I think it’s really cool that RTL is now taking this step away from the classic concept that many people celebrate with the “Bachelorette” and the “Bachelor”. I’m happy that I can be the first to simply show that there is no norm in love.
The ratio of participants is nevertheless very unbalanced. There are 15 men, but only five women…
Stegmann: I don’t care about these numbers, especially considering that it’s not the gender that matters, but the person. I think it shouldn’t matter to anyone else either, because the message is that it doesn’t matter what gender someone is when it comes to dating me.
Were you afraid that your candidates would start something with each other?
Stegmann: Of course I thought about it beforehand and was a little scared. But I also thought to myself: If something develops, it’s okay, because it can just happen that a person isn’t interested in me. That’s completely fine. I just hoped that it wouldn’t happen to someone I was very interested in and that I would end up getting hurt. It was definitely very present in my mind.
What do you think are the differences between dating men and women?
Stegmann: I have a lot more experience with men. I know more about what I’m doing and I’m in my comfort zone. The first time I dated a woman was only last year and that’s why I’m still a bit more insecure with women. I don’t know how to behave yet, and I’m maybe a bit awkward (laughs). I feel like I’m new to dating. For me personally, experience is the difference – otherwise, for both sexes, it’s just a matter of being a good match in terms of emotional and physical attraction.
The age range of the candidates is very large – everyone is there from 21 to 36. Is age an exclusion criterion for you?
Stegmann: Definitely not an exclusion criterion. Of course, you still worry that a 36-year-old is already in a different phase of life or that a 21-year-old is not yet where I am now. For example, when I was 21, I wanted something different in life. But of course it depends on the individual personality: a 21-year-old can be just as mature as me. My parents are 20 years apart, so I have a role model who shows me that it works even with a big age difference. Nevertheless, it is not something I would wish for, because it also brings with it many complications. But love falls where it falls – so it is not an exclusion criterion.
You already have dating show experience from “Too Hot to Handle.” Did you approach things differently this time?
Stegmann: It’s completely different. I noticed that back then “Too Hot to Handle” was the format that suited me and now “Bachelorette” is the format that suits me perfectly. I’ve also changed in the two and a half years since “Too Hot to Handle”. My perception of relationships has changed, I’ve simply grown up a bit. I have the feeling that “Too Hot to Handle” was very superficial. Of course, people didn’t get to know that much about me there and that will change completely now. This is about me – about me finding love. That way you get to know me in many different ways, you get to know who Stella really is. I think it’s great that I’ve been given this chance and I hope that people will say afterwards: Oh, so that’s what Stella is like! And that they don’t just think: Stella is the one who is super open and once said she wants to make out with everyone.
After “Too Hot To Handle” you entered into a relationship with candidate Anna. You lived it very publicly and also revealed private details. Now you are publicly looking for love again – will you live your new relationship in the spotlight again?
Stegmann: Yes. Since I talk openly about everything and there are no taboos for me – even on social media, because I think that can help a lot of people – I have no problem sharing a relationship publicly. That is part of me and I would hope that I can pass something on to others and inspire them.
You and Anna had a polygamous relationship. Is that still your relationship concept?
Stegmann: Something has definitely changed. I have tried many different types of relationships in my life. I don’t rule out any type of relationship – you have to find out with your partner what is right for us as a couple. That can be either a monogamous or an open relationship. But what I have discovered in my relationship with Anna is that I want to focus on one person. I am looking for a partner for the next phase of my life. The definition of poly is that you have multiple relationships, and I really can’t imagine that – at the moment.
As a “Bachelorette” you are more open than the others anyway, there are no taboos for you. In the trailer you say quite clearly that there was sex on one date – something other “Bachelorettes” prefer to keep quiet about.
Stegmann: I think this openness is mostly intrinsic to me. But of course I also think about it and decide that I want to be an open book so that people realize that there is no need to beat around the bush. You can just say things as they are. There will always be people who will condemn that – but it will also inspire many to do the same.
So you had no inhibitions about admitting what happened in the villa?
Stegmann: No, everyone can already guess. When someone says “You keep quiet and enjoy yourself”, I always think to myself, just say it! When people talk about sexual topics, I always find it such a shame that they don’t dare to use the right terms. That’s why I said to myself: No, I’ll say it like it is.
You recently spoke about your abortion on Instagram. What prompted you to go public with this step?
Stegmann: That was the best decision in a long time. I then received messages from hundreds of women thanking me, telling me their story and, for example, writing: ‘You are the first person I’ve told this to because I don’t dare to talk about it openly because I’m afraid of being judged.’ I really noticed that it was so necessary for someone to talk about it openly and for it to be given more space so that women would have more courage to talk about it. If you keep it to yourself and keep quiet, it is so much more mentally exhausting than if you have someone you can share it with. And I had the hope that it would help a lot of women out there. I don’t judge anyone who has a different opinion, but I hope that it will make society a little more aware, so that it doesn’t judge women who do things like that, but shows understanding for them. It should be a safe space for women who have gone through this experience, are going through it now or will go through it in the future.
So openness and honesty are particularly important to you in a relationship. What other requirements are there?
Stegmann: Definitely, of course, classic humor, that you can laugh together and have a good time together. Share common interests, that you can experience a lot together. That you also have similar views, politically or regarding the future, for example when it comes to family planning.
Were there any moments during your time as “Bachelorette” when you reached your limits?
Stegmann: Not that I ever regretted the show. But there were definitely a lot of ups and downs, and I was able to feel a lot of emotions. But I wanted to allow that to happen and I’m happy that I was able to let go and be so authentic.
Source: Stern

I am an author and journalist who has worked in the entertainment industry for over a decade. I currently work as a news editor at a major news website, and my focus is on covering the latest trends in entertainment. I also write occasional pieces for other outlets, and have authored two books about the entertainment industry.