Marriage break-up: Five things you should never do when separating

Marriage break-up: Five things you should never do when separating

When a marriage fails, it is often a tragic event, followed by problems and divorce. Five tips from a lawyer to avoid conflict.

Separations, especially in a marriage, can be very ugly, and there are some pitfalls that you have to be aware of in order not to fall into them. Attorney Sandra Günther, who specializes in family, labor and criminal law, has already advised many clients at the end of their marriage. For the star she has summarized five points from her work that should definitely be considered when a marriage ends.

Don’t sign anything
You should never sign a separation agreement without having it checked by a lawyer first. If in doubt, a lot of money is at stake, especially if there is a gain to be distributed. Incidentally, clauses in which you waive separation maintenance are invalid. You cannot effectively waive separation maintenance.

Sandra Günther has been a lawyer specializing in family law and criminal law with her office in Dortmund since 2007. As an author, she is co-author of the book "When Love Becomes Toxic" and author of the book "Intelligently Separated", which will be published in autumn 2024.

Redate the year of separation
Do not allow yourself to be pushed back on the date of separation, even if the partner who is obliged to pay maintenance urges you to do so. Separation maintenance is available until the divorce is legally binding. So every month brings in cash.

The marriage is over, but the children must not suffer

The Children pull in
Even if one partner has hurt the other, the children should be kept out of the separation drama as much as possible. This is difficult because there are many emotions involved. Above all, you should never gossip about your ex-partner or manipulate the child. There are also parent coaching programs that help parents who are at odds to communicate better with each other again.

Child as a tool of pressure
Children have a right to contact with both parents, it is even written into the law: Paragraph 1684 of the German Civil Code. Parents who do not provide permanent care also have a right to contact with their children. As a family law attorney, I can say that you take away part of children’s identity if you show yourself to be intolerant of attachment.

Obey the law
You should refrain from insulting, threatening or even stalking your ex or even your new partner. In the long run, this can result in criminal investigations. This behavior can have a negative impact on the child custody case, especially if children are involved.

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Source: Stern

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