Biyon Kattilathu in an interview: Media attention has “shaped” him

Biyon Kattilathu (40) has had an exciting year: The bestselling author became a father for the first time, took part in “Let’s Dance”, was in the public eye because of a divorce – and also wrote a new book. “The questions of your life – How you can find all the answers within yourself” will be published on September 18th. In it, the former “DSDS” candidate not only wants to lead readers to the answers to difficult questions that are already slumbering within themselves, but also shares personal stories.

In an interview with the news agency spot on news, Biyon Kattilathu reveals what he personally considers the biggest question of his life and how he implements his own tips. He also reflects on his new role as a father, remembers his participation in “DSDS” and “Let’s Dance” – and of course also talks about the scandal surrounding him.

“The Questions of Your Life” is your most personal book to date. What makes the book so special?

Biyon Kattilathu: The book is about a lot of personal stories. It’s about tips, of course, it’s about sustainability, about people really taking something away for their lives, but it’s also about honesty and my story behind it. People will see me completely differently afterwards and understand why I talk about these things and why I’m allowed to answer the respective questions.

Regarding the title of your book – what is the biggest question in your life?

Kattilathu: There are a few big questions that concern us all, for example: What makes us happy? What is the meaning of life? These are the questions that are always on my mind, including mine of course. These are the questions that get me up and go to sleep with me every day.

You say that you are not the best writer. How do you manage to put your thoughts into words?

Kattilathu: I don’t want to be the best author. When you talk about the “best”, you automatically compare yourself to others – but I really try to do my work without comparison. That sounds a bit poetic, but it’s often the case that I just have to devote myself to a topic, then it almost writes itself. It’s an immersion in being – so the focus is not on writing itself, but rather: I want to be now. To be a person who puts their thoughts on paper because there is someone I can help with a few words. That’s the important thing, for all of us, for life, that it’s more about being and not trying to define ourselves by what we do.

At the beginning of the book you talk about how your participation in “DSDS” in 2007 was your “way off the streets”. Why did you choose DSDS as this way out?

Kattilathu: It felt like back then, with very few financial resources, you tried to make a difference, for yourself and for others. I liked singing, that was one thing. On the other hand, “DSDS” was a huge hype at the time, everyone was talking about it. What appealed to me and my friends was that it was about talent, about an art form. It wasn’t about contacts or where you came from. That’s why I thought I’d just go. I think it was the mixture of this principle of hope and this art form that you loved. Added to that was our extreme curiosity, because we always wanted to try new things. But we saw the whole thing as a game, so it was never a deadly serious thing.

Would you say that your participation in “DSDS” was a turning point in your life?

Kattilathu: I don’t think it was a turning point, but a point in my life. Steve Jobs spoke about “connecting the dots” back then. That point has an impact on my life today: I faced my fears, I had to develop courage, I had to focus on the point. That certainly influenced me.

You gave your first talk in front of twelve people, six of whom were your friends. What is it like for you to speak in front of sold-out venues today?

Kattilathu: I also really enjoyed speaking in front of twelve people, it’s a lot of fun. When you’re looking into 24 critical eyes, it’s sometimes more challenging than when you’re speaking in front of 2,000 people who can’t even look at you properly. It’s no better or worse, and the level of excitement doesn’t change much. Then as now, the reason for me is the same. Back then, I thought: I now have the chance to change the lives of twelve people. That’s an incredible gift, and it shouldn’t be underestimated. That’s why I’m so glad that those six people were there – and of course the six friends that I can still count on today.

In your book you give a lot of tips about self-love. Do you really manage to implement them all yourself?

Kattilathu: I face similar challenges to everyone else. I often have to remind myself of this, sometimes I even listen to my podcast in the car and think to myself: hey, that’s right, he’s right! This constant reminder is crucial. That’s why it was so important to me to write a book, so that we have a work with questions that are always there and that we can always refer back to. Of course, there are things that I can’t influence – thank God, it would be strange if I was always in a good mood. What has changed in me: I have developed a strong awareness of myself and my feelings and then find a solution relatively quickly.

You write that you have received a level of “media attention” in the last year that you never expected. What was it like for you to read new things about your private life every day?

Kattilathu: It was changeable. Sometimes exciting, sometimes very interesting. There were also many things that I didn’t even know myself – I mean that in a humorous way, of course. It’s different to look back on things a year later than to be in the moment. But it’s not without reason that I say: sometimes you win, sometimes you learn. I learned from every moment and it naturally shaped me personally. It shaped my relationships, I discovered who I could count on. And of course that’s the price you pay. Anyone who wants to be in the public eye or use social media has to be prepared to pay a price. And I’m prepared to pay that price because the work and what I do is much more important to me than things that are linked to me personally.

How do you feel about the fact that this attention has now waned? Do you feel an emptiness?

Kattilathu: No, thank God I rarely feel emptiness. There are other things that fulfill me. Press articles may sometimes delight me or surprise me, sometimes they annoy me – but these are all emotions that come and go. Real fulfillment is only possible through love, and that comes primarily from my family. When I see my son playing with his chickens, it is fulfilling – and then there is no room for emptiness.

You write that you cannot put into words your feelings for your son. How has he changed your life?

Kattilathu: What happens is superhuman, the miracle of birth is fascinating. When my son was born, the high point and the low point were one after the other, something you wouldn’t wish on anyone. The birth was seventh heaven – and then a few seconds later to find out that he was lifeless and would spend five weeks in intensive care… Falling from the very top to the very bottom was a very hard landing. Of course, that changed a lot in me. But thank God, with the love of the family, with faith, with God’s help, everything is looking very good. And we are infinitely grateful for that.

Let’s go back to the media hype. At the beginning you were very concerned with hate messages. What is the situation today? Do you still receive a lot of such messages and how do you deal with them?

Kattilathu: Hate messages are part of the price you have to pay when you’re in the public eye. A few years ago, they still had a chance to touch me somehow. When there are phases where there is more hate, it is of course more intense, but I have a very, very big heart and a lot of compassion for these people. Not pity, but compassion, because I know that they often live in great pain. The solution here is love: I try to take out the anger and respond with love – that is the moment when I give what the other person is missing. I simply try to live that way.

You have never really commented on the scandal surrounding you. Do you sometimes feel the need to share your perspective on things?

Kattilathu: No, for me everything has been said. The book is also about letting go of the past, not living in the past. That’s why I am very present and mostly in the moment. When I look at the world, not just the individual wishes but also the social challenges, then there are simply much more important things than small wars and other things that might stroke my ego.

Speaking of small wars: As a teenager, you had to do community service because of a fight. Did you ever get into trouble with the law again after that?

Kattilathu: There were a few fights – I can’t put a date on whether there was anything after that. It was just a time when you hung out on the streets. Looking back now, I would say that I hung out with the wrong people a lot, who always got into stressful situations and then I was in the middle of it. The community service was really good because it opened my eyes. Also with the help of my parents, who were full of sadness and disappointment when I was sentenced in court. Seeing that made a huge difference. Sometimes you only realise what you have actually done when you see other people suffering. That’s why it was an important turning point in my life.

You write that at the beginning of your career you lived your parents’ dream instead of your own. Do you harbor resentment towards them because of that?

Kattilathu: Everything is always right the way it happened. It was always the best performance of everyone at every moment. My parents always tried to do their best at that moment, with their values ​​and their perspective on life. For them personally, the best was what they wanted for themselves, or what was considered desirable in India. That’s why they motivated me to become an engineer and do my doctorate. I am so grateful for those moments. I met friends for life during my studies, I learned to work in a structured way – things and qualities that I would not want to miss. Sometimes it is good to know what you don’t want and what doesn’t fulfill you.

You describe how your colleagues on “Let’s Dance” often found their time there stressful, which wasn’t the case for you. How do you look back on your participation today?

Kattilathu: Full of gratitude. There were people who weren’t able to enjoy this journey, but it’s so important for all of us. Of course we need goals to move in a certain direction, we need visions to set off with our hearts beating faster. But the journey is crucial. It’s about getting fully involved and trying to do my best to make every moment precious. Yesterday I drove home from Berlin and reflected on many things because I drove past many stations in my life and I thought: “Let’s Dance” was really, really nice. Great people, great experiences and I never want to miss them again.