Riccardo Simonetti: “It’s important to talk about violence”

Riccardo Simonetti (31) has been fighting passionately for equality and tolerance for many years. The entertainer regularly advocates for issues that are close to his heart. He is currently supporting YSL Beauty’s “Love Without Violence” program. With his commitment, he wants to “stimulate conversations and promote education,” as he explains on the sidelines of a press event in Hamburg. He also talks about his own happiness. The entertainer tied the knot with his long-term partner Steven just a few weeks ago – with overwhelming reactions, as he reveals in the interview.

Dear Riccardo, what exactly is your commitment to the “Love without Violence” program?

Riccardo Simonetti: I want to encourage conversations and promote education. It is important that we speak openly about violence, seek dialogue among ourselves and also highlight the variety of forms of violence that often remain hidden. Because: Not all violence is the same – I only recently understood this – raising awareness that violence can range from physical, sexual, psychological to financial violence is a big and important step in terms of thematic education.

Violence is not uncommon even in relationships that do not correspond to the heterosexual relationship model. How would you describe the status quo of education and research here?

Simonetti: Violence can occur in any relationship, regardless of the sexual orientation or gender identity of the partners. It mostly takes place in secret and there is little research and information. Especially when it comes to violence outside of heteronormative relationships. The study conducted by YSL Beauty 2023 on the LGBTQIA+ community has sent an important signal against this existing research gap. Because: Around 39% of those surveyed in the LGBTQIA+ community in Germany do not know where they can get support in the event of violence in relationships. In my opinion, such findings are incredibly important – because this is the only way that effective measures can be taken. We need to be more broadly positioned in the prevention of violence and take all forms of relationships into account, but also continue to expand the network of help and advice centers.

Have you ever witnessed intimate partner violence in your private environment?

Simonetti: Fortunately, there have been no incidents in my immediate environment so far. However, I would argue that we have all noticed signs of intimate partner violence. Sometimes it’s not the obvious actions that first catch the eye, but rather very subtle signs. These include things like excessive jealousy, constantly controlling your partner, or isolating yourself from friends and family. Derogatory comments that undermine the other person’s self-esteem are also alarming. I learned that it is crucial to pay attention and not look away. Intimate partner violence often begins gradually, but the sooner you intervene or offer support, the better you can help. This is exactly where the 9 warning signs formulated as part of the initiative are helpful. It is a shared responsibility that we recognize them and take action – for the people we care about and for a society based on respect and safety.

Why is this still a taboo topic in many places? What needs to change politically and socially?

Simonetti: Unfortunately, violence in relationships is still seen primarily as a personal, private and very intimate problem that is reluctant to be communicated to outsiders. Those affected are afraid of stigmatization or do not dare to seek help. The boundaries are also not always easy to assess: Where does violence begin and where does love end? Are comments and rules about clothing cute or do they reflect controlling behavior? Is reading the messages on your partner’s cell phone really intrusive? Politically and socially, we must break this vicious circle by bringing the issue more into the public discourse, providing more comprehensive information and facilitating access to protection services and support for all those affected.

What roles do the media play in this context?

Simonetti: The media and representation of these topics in films and series play a very crucial role. Ultimately, they influence our perception of violence, relationships and gender roles – that should not be underestimated. Fiction and reporting can certainly show distorted images of society and promote stereotypes. They can also glorify violence. This potential can certainly be exploited much, much further. Nevertheless, one of the currently most successful films “Just One More Time” is a film about domestic violence and yet the topic is still not talked about enough.”

Digital violence is also an increasingly relevant topic. The internet and social media offer more space for various forms of harassment and violence. You yourself are constantly confronted with hate comments. To protect your husband from such hostility, you did not show his face in public for four years until the wedding in the summer. Are you happy that you can now openly show your love?

Simonetti: I’m the one who chose a life in the public eye, not him. That’s why I felt it was my duty to protect him as much as I could. Now that we’re married, it just didn’t feel right to hide him anymore and it was our mutual decision to share his face with people. At least every now and then.

What were the reactions?

Simonetti: The reactions were overwhelming. We couldn’t believe how much support there was from people and we really hope that this will encourage other same-sex couples to stand by their love. Nevertheless, there was of course also some homophobic crap to be read, which proves that for many people it is still not self-evident that love can exist between two men, even in 2024.

How does the marriage feel so far?

Simonetti: I love being married. It somehow makes me feel connected to my husband even when we’re not in the same place. We have decided to walk this path together from now on, and that’s how it feels.

What characterizes a happy relationship for you?

Simonetti: I think it’s particularly important to be able to be happy for other people’s joy, even if you have nothing to do with it. And of course lots of cuddling too!