“Why am I doing this to myself?” is something most people in a relationship have asked themselves at some point. A psychologist analyzes this thought pattern.
Relationships require a lot of work and maintenance. Sometimes you don’t have to just turn a blind eye and it’s possible that your partner gets on your nerves so much that you wonder whether you wouldn’t be happier if you were single. But how do you find out which life situation is most suitable for you?
The American psychologist Mark Travers got to the bottom of this question in Forbes magazine. In his analysis, however, he also emphasizes at the beginning that each relationship must be viewed individually. He then describes three cornerstones that can help with the question: Do I want to separate and prefer to be single?
Happiness in a relationship
“A happy relationship will make you happier than being single, but a bad relationship can make you much unhappier than being single.” In other words: Relationships make you happier, but only good ones, according to the psychologist’s conclusion. Travers cites several studies that on average people in a relationship are only slightly happier than single people, that after some time in a relationship the level of happiness drops to the level before the relationship and that more and more happier people enter into a relationship, but his conclusion is: is: You need to assess your individual situation – weighing the benefits of your current relationship against the benefits of single life, taking into account both short-term and long-term perspectives.
Regardless of whether you are single or in a relationship, you often want what you don’t have
All that glitters is not gold
The psychologist gives the strong advice: Regret will be a part of you in every decision. If you decide to stay in your current relationship, you may later regret not giving yourself the opportunity to explore other avenues. However, if you decide to separate, you might ask yourself what could have been and whether better times would have come with your partner. It is important to ask yourself thoroughly: Which regret hurts more in the long run?
Trapped in the past
The third point to consider is whether the doubts about the relationship may come from living too much in the past. Do you often indulge in nostalgic thoughts about how beautiful and relaxed single life was before the relationship? The psychologist warns against glorifying the past, because this time will never come back like this.
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Source: Stern
I am an author and journalist who has worked in the entertainment industry for over a decade. I currently work as a news editor at a major news website, and my focus is on covering the latest trends in entertainment. I also write occasional pieces for other outlets, and have authored two books about the entertainment industry.
