Nova Meierhenrich about the desire to have children
“My belly looked like a basketball”
“A difficult but important way I had to go”: Nova Meierhenrich talks about her unsuccessful desire to have children.
The actress and moderator Nova Meierhenrich (51) tried for years to make her dream of being a mother – without a partner, through fertility treatments. In her new book “Lebenschlenker” (Allegria, March 13th), she speaks for the first time about her unfulfilled desire to have children and how she ultimately made her peace with the fact that her great desire to live remains unfulfilled. In an interview with Spot on News, Nova Meierhenrich reveals what the low point in this way was and what physical and mental effects the treatment had.
In “Life Schlenker” they write about their unfulfilled desire to have children and the treatment marathon they have behind them. The book was also created partly out of anger, as they report. What exactly has led to you share this private trip?
Nova Meierhenrich: I have always written down and collected a lot throughout the treatment. Back then, of course, for a completely different background: for my future child. If it is old enough, I wanted to tell him and show as much as possible from the time: ultrasound pictures, records, thoughts and so on. I found this very important, especially if you will give birth to a little person who initially only knows part of his roots. It was a long and very painful process and the lock also took. The topic has become more and more present over the course of this time, also in the circle of friends and acquaintances. And I became more and more aware of this extreme assault on this topic, publicly and privately.
In interviews, they were asked about their childlessness …
Meierhenrich: It has always rumbled in me and I often opened my mouth in private. I took a position because it really got me angry. The decisive point was at some point an intended interview with me on the subject. Then I thought: we have to talk about it. It must not be that women have to expose themselves. It cannot be that we are still so little sensitive to this topic. If this is addressed in the closest circle, it is another thing. But with strangers, on a red carpet, at a party, in small talk? Whether public person or not does not matter. This often tears up big wounds and for me it was the starting shot inside to deal with it and write about it.
How did the writing process feel?
Meierhenrich: Good and of course difficult. I had to get out a lot again, which I had closed in a small box inside. But it was worth it: After all, the book should help others, inform and encourage them. It is a encouragement book, even if my story is supposed to have no good end. That is why it was so important to me to have conversations for “life gods” with other women to show: there are a million ways. And even if you are overrun by fate, it continues. Life is not a dead end, even if the largest lifelong dream is not fulfilled. And if he comes true, everything does not always have to be perfect. Every woman struggles with the same thoughts. Therefore, I not only wanted to tell my story in the book, but also show the diversity of the topic.
You describe the process in detail, from the selection of the donation seed to the appointments in two different clinics in Denmark, in which they were for the desire to have children. How long was the overall decision to decide from the inner decision to decide?
Meierhenrich: The decision to tackle this, if my dream man does not appear in time, I made in my early 20. I really went to the preparation in 2008, 2009. I started regular checks with examinations, I stopped in 2017.
What was the low point for you during this time?
Meierhenrich: Realizing towards the end of the way that this story could have a different outcome than I dreamed of. I am not the master of letting go, it is not easy for me. This point, which was very clear that I had to let go, was therefore the hardest for me. So I had to build a ritual around it.
At the Geirangerfjord in Norway you have had a note with farewell words into the abyss.
Meierhenrich: I needed a script, a plan for me. Even if the biggest master plan of my life is now different, I needed this scaffolding, where I can hang up, in my grief, in concluding, but also in the beginning.
During the treatment, they had to take hormones in the meantime. How did you change?
Meierhenrich: Most women with hormones hardly know their way around the menopause. So at the beginning I saw that quite relaxed. But then I became thin -skinned, very sensitive. I was also often very tired. There is also the weight gain, you are swollen. My stomach looked like a basketball in between. I had bruises from the daily syringes everywhere. This whole roller coaster has mentally created me between hope and disappointment. Even if I didn’t want to admit it at the beginning: it just does something with you. At some point I sat on the couch and realized that it is not all good.
How do you look back today?
Meierhenrich: I look back on the whole thing as a difficult but important way I had to go. I have never regretted it. Just what you don’t try will regret afterwards. It was the way to my lifelong dream and I had to take it to arrive in the here and now. Because I let him go, there was space for new things in my life.
Spotonnews
Source: Stern
I am an author and journalist who has worked in the entertainment industry for over a decade. I currently work as a news editor at a major news website, and my focus is on covering the latest trends in entertainment. I also write occasional pieces for other outlets, and have authored two books about the entertainment industry.
