Alzheimer’s: when oblivion hits at home

Over the years accompanying the elderly and their families, I have seen how Alzheimer’s life enters the life of a home. He does not suddenly arrives, in an almost imperceptible way, in the form of small forgetfulness, of innocent confusions, of behaviors that at the beginning it is hard to understand.

From the hand of these new paintings some disorientation appears because we feel that we do not know what to do, that everything surpasses us and that the person we know begins to escape our possibility of containment and care.

The lack of acceptance, anguish and guilt begin to be part of the road.

Many relatives try to take care of this type of paintings sustained by the enormous weight of love and commitment, and sometimes – also – not wanting to worry other family members. But that inevitable physical and affective overload ends even more ill with the person with Alzheimer -not to have adequate, although loving care -, and also puts at risk the health of people or caregivers who have to recognize all that enormous effort they make when trying to travel this painful path in the best possible way.

From my experience, I would like to share some keys that can help to cope with the situation of living with a loved one with Alzheimer’s disease:

Accept the disease as it is:

Alzheimer’s is a progressive, degenerative and irreversible disease with which the affected person will continue to aggravate his painting.

It is not easy to say or listen to it, but understanding and accepting it will allow us to accompany it better, without demanding what is no longer possible and will not be able to do.

Learn to enjoy the little things:

You have to learn to live in the present, at the moment from the moment to moment, to value moments that, from the outside, seem insignificant but never are.

I like the concept of self -perceived quality of life: it doesn’t matter how much they remember, how much they reason, but how much they enjoy and how much they feel.

The link is also changing, and we have to change with him. Maybe today we can sing together a song they like. Tomorrow maybe just hum. Later, accompany them with a look or palms. But there is always a way to meet the patient, even if it is minimal. And you have to do it.

Address it bio-psycho-social:

It does not reach only with a medical approach, it is also essential to act on physical, emotional and social well -being. Surround them with affection, friendly routines and a safe environment.

Adapt the environment:

Do not wait for an accident to adapt the spaces. If we know that they can forget to turn off the gas, it is better to prevent and avoid situations of danger, put bars, keep closed doors or eliminate risks to possible falls. Every measure we take in time is an act of love, care and prevention.

Find an interdisciplinary team:

We can not be alone in care. A good geriatrician, a team of psychologists, occupational therapists and social workers can make a big difference in the treatment and day -to -day follow -up of the patient.

Inform to anticipate and understand:

Understand how the disease evolves helps to travel with less anguish. Know – for example – that in certain stages behavioral disorders may appear, and that many times are over medical unnecessarily, a fact that affects the patient’s lucidity and motor skills.

Whenever you can, it is better to look for non -pharmacological alternatives that preserve their well -being.

Do not contradict it:

When they begin to realize that something happens to them they feel fear, anger and frustration. And those are not moments to discuss, we must accompany tenderness and validate their emotions.

Take care of yourself:

The caregivers must look for spaces to rest, to distract themselves and to continue living without guilt. It is very healthy to participate in groups of relatives who go through similar situations, receive therapeutic or spiritual support, share pain and uncertainty. And on the other hand, also, to leave and distracted; In short, try to lead a life with some normality so as not to lose those things that do well.

There is no heroicity in exhausting, there is wisdom to take care to take better care.

Understand that sometimes institutionalize is to take care:

There is always a time when difficult decisions must be made. It is when it is necessary to get rid of the prejudice of thinking “not the geriatric” as if it were a defeat.

Today there are specialized institutions that know how to integrally address this problem, providing a better quality of life for the person with Alzheimer’s, a disease that for now has no cure or reversal of the paintings.

A good institutionalization improves the quality of life of the patient and the family, which ceases to be trapped in the permanent demands of care and can enjoy the shared moments again, released from that pressure that hurts and wears out.

Accompanying a loved one with Alzheimer’s is to accept that life is transformed, is learning to live with losses, but also with new encounters. Although the disease progresses and oblivion is installed, the possibility of being, accompanying and loving never disappears.

There is no perfect link standard and each one will find their way. The important thing is not to abandon the search because exactly in it – whether through a gesture, a smile or a moment of connection – there is the possibility of continuing to share something valuable and deeply human, even, in the midst of oblivion.

Founder and Director of Manantial Residences