Parents-child relationship: These 15 questions should be asked to the parents

We learn to run, speak and what it means to love: our parents shape us for life. This applies in positive and negative. While we grow up, we can hardly imagine that there will be a life at some point without this (ideally) both people at our side. And then we will grown up ourselves, start everyday work and start leading our own life.

As a result, our parents suddenly play a smaller role in our everyday life. Not because the love for you has changed – but because the focus naturally shifts on friendships, work and your own family start -up and dream fulfillment. Sometimes, however, it happens that we lose the connection to the people who usually accompanied us from our first breath.

This is often not even to blame for the lack of time together. According to current surveys, more than half of the young adults call with their parents at least once a week. For many adults, their own parents are still the first contacts in the particularly bad and beautiful moments of life.

And yet the parent-child relationship often lacks depth when children become adults. Exactly because we often fall into old patterns. In any case, the Hamburg communication psychologist Constanze Bossemeyer says in an earlier: “Adult children react quickly when they are already waiting for their parents to treat them like children again.”

The result: adults tend to behave in their parents’ house again like children and the eye level that could reach a relationship between adult children and their parents, far away. As adults, we have the wonderful opportunity to get to know our parents completely again.

When both parties have reached a certain age, not only old topics are easier to clear out of the way. We can also learn a lot from our parents about life. About your and over our. “The family has a lot of power,” says psychologist Klaus A. Schneewind in conversation with “”. Nobody could avoid the influence of his parents.

It is all the more important that we really get to know our parents. And not only in their parents’ role usual, but also as a person. Because from them we learn to perceive and classify the world. It is not for nothing that the principle applies in psychotherapy that childhood can affect our whole life. If we understand what motives our parents had for certain things, it is easier for us to deal with it.

But how do you get to know people who have actually believed to know your whole life? As so often – with the right questions and an honest and open interest in the other person. While the open basic attitude should come by itself, you can get inspiration as far as the questions are concerned. We have a few first ideas.

Of course, the questions are just a selection of infinite options for questions that you can and should ask your parents. In general, ask what is honest with you. The most important thing is to approach the conversation with an openness. Our parents often represent different attitudes than we do.

Here it is important to respect possible disagreements with respect and to leave space for your own perspectives. If you succeed, you are on the right path to a deeper connection to his mother and/ or father. And by the way, you also learn something about yourself in exchange with your parents.

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