Arguing, but right
Five conflicts that meet every couple – and how we solve them
There are disputes in the best relationships. Occasional conflicts are normal. It only depends on how we deal with them. Pair therapist John M. Gottmann knows.
“Two people get to know each other. They learn to love themselves. And then make mistakes.” So it says, a little shortened, in a song by the German band Province. It is a course that each of us knows: When the pink clouds of the first female phase are slowly becoming pastel colors, gray clouds are also happy to mix underneath. Love has so many beautiful sides. There is none of them. And yet it is part of every partnership – on a small and large one.
If it crashes properly with your loved one, it is far from a reason to worry. If you ask the American couple therapist John M. Gottmann, an occasional thunderstorm in the seventh heaven is even important. He is one of the most renowned psychiatrists in his area and, together with his wife Julie Schwartz Gottmann, writes books about happy love again and again.
You can learn healthy arguing
It is also about the conflicts that every couple of lovers live through from time to time. Together they show why we always argue about the same things as a dispute does not get out of hand immediately and how to process a dispute that went in the middle of the heart. You give hope for a happy ending that is constantly in your hair with your loved one. Because, according to Gottmann, it does not depend on how often a few argue – but how it deals with the conflicts. Fortunately, you can learn that.
In the picture gallery we present the five greatest conflicts of couples according to the Gottmanns – and show ways out of the permanent conflict.
And if something goes wrong, understanding helps, because none of us is perfect. Gottmann writes in the book: “We are people, and each of us drags his own heavy luggage – from life, from our childhood, from previous relationships. We have trigger that are triggered again and again. Great emotions that pack us on the gurgl or hit our heart or in the intestine – wherever you feel an affective flooding. We say things that we don’t mean, we say them in the worst way. “
Source: Stern
I’m Caroline, a journalist and author for 24 Hours Worlds. I specialize in health-related news and stories, bringing real-world impact to readers across the globe. With my experience in journalism and writing in both print and online formats, I strive to provide reliable information that resonates with audiences from all walks of life.
