Is your best friend going through a breakup? Your partner brings stress home and his/her tension infects you? In fact, this is a phenomenon known in research as stress contagion. That means stress is contagious.
By Lena Kluss
This text first appeared here at .
The ability to understand other people’s feelings is a part of life. As humans, we respond to different facial expressions, attitudes, behavior, or certain accents in conversation. In order to adapt to other people, we learn to pay attention to changes and to react to our interlocutors. We often notice in fractions of a second that something is wrong. This is because when we talk, we share our emotions with each other. Like all psychological processes, they are also of a psychophysiological nature.
However, several studies show that visible stress is transferred to other people. The effect is even greater between relationship partners. Possibly also because it is important for us to show understanding and empathize with the other person. But at some point we get the feeling that too much stress can be harmful to our health. We give you valuable tips to prevent it from happening.
Tip #1: Find out where your stress comes from
Is that really your stress? Or that of your partner or friend? Sometimes we put ourselves in the shoes of the listeners for too long. We want to help and without hesitation we take the ballast off the shoulders of others and put it on ourselves. It’s true: an open ear helps in many situations. However, if the stress factor of the friend does not subside and we continue to be confronted with the pressure, it can also become dangerous for us. Especially when we put our feelings aside and ignore them. It’s nice to offer help to others. However, you shouldn’t forget that you too can have feelings and talk about them.
Tip #2: Take a break alone or together
When the stress overwhelms your friends – and you too – it can help to consciously take a break. These can be small things that you can do alone. For example, a relaxing bath, soothing music, or a moment with your favorite series or book. It’s also perfectly legitimate to just watch dog or cat videos for a while if it makes you feel better. But it can also be good to do something together that distracts you from the stress but leaves it out. Because the stress is not what makes your life. It is just a small part that we keep focusing on ourselves. Exercising or meditating together can also help shift focus. Sometimes a change of scene is just the right thing: going out, going for a walk or simply taking a short day trip steers your thoughts in a different direction.
Tip #3: Don’t fall into fast food mode
Some of us compensate for stress by eating unhealthy snacks or lacking the energy to cook something tasty for ourselves due to the pressure. This is a welcome change that can lift the mood significantly. Researchers found in 2016 that people who set creative goals when cooking or baking feel better. The reason: They have the feeling of having achieved something and growing with their task. If you don’t feel up to it right now, setting up a meal with friends is a good idea. Is it the partner’s stress that keeps you busy? Then go eat something together again, or cook something together. That also lifts the spirits.
Tip #4: Small creative projects
What kind of creativity helps you feel better? It can actually be anything: you can draw something, write something, do handicrafts or teach yourself a song on the guitar. Whatever you choose, creativity helps reduce stress. Researchers found that creative people end up feeling more enthusiastic and energetic at the end of the day. But the tasks you set yourself don’t have to be huge. Because you shouldn’t overwhelm yourself with them. Instead, aim for things you can be sure you can do in a day. Even small moments and achievements are enough to make you feel better.
Tip #5: Lower the demands on yourself and others
The stress we put on ourselves is often unnecessarily high. We have demands on ourselves, want to do justice to everyone and therefore push our own feelings into the basement. But how about you take her and take her for a walk instead? Think of yourself and don’t hold back. It can help you and your friend if you honestly admit that it’s getting to be too much for you. Instead of burdening yourself with the same stress from others every day, you can also say: “Today I need time for myself. I’ll get back to you tomorrow.” Often you are not the only one who can advise your friend. Maybe today is the time for you to hand over the baton temporarily.
Source: Stern
