Everyone is talking about “aging with dignity”, but what is that supposed to be? And what if you don’t want to age at all?
You have already got used to being kissed on the street when teenagers ask you for directions. That was standard at 28 at the latest, when you were still firmly convinced that you didn’t look much different than at 18, but apparently you did. Before your 30th birthday you were in a really bad mood – how could you turn 30 now, you didn’t even have a house, no child, not even a pet, and you weren’t married yet ?! And above all, you weren’t even at all: grown up?
Unfortunately, age doesn’t really count on how we feel. It just pushes us on, on and on, whether we are ready or not. And so far you’ve always got along quite well with it, after a deep sigh and getting used to it. The first half of the 30s was surprisingly good, and you slowly learned about being an adult. You dutifully file tax returns and try to use up all the vegetables in the refrigerator on time. You only go out one day on the weekend, and certainly not on two weekends on top of each other. You can survive the 35th okay too. “Mid-30s” still sounds acceptable.
“Late 30s” just isn’t sexy anymore
And then suddenly you’re in your “late 30s” and that doesn’t sound sexy anymore. The worst: After you have always been valued much younger, you suddenly look like you were in your late 30s. You look in the mirror and look into a face that somehow no longer seems to be yours. There are deep lines that lead from the wings of your nostrils to the corners of your mouth, there are deep circles under your eyes, even though you try to get enough sleep and swallow all the essential vitamins. The rest of the skin doesn’t look as plump as it did a few years ago, and you look at yourself and suddenly you have an inkling of what it will look like in five or ten years. Like an old woman’s face.
That is not bad in itself and quite normal. Young women become old women just as young men become old men. Now don’t think too much about it, otherwise you’ll be sitting at the kitchen table groaning, chin resting on your hands, and pondering about transience and the meaning of life. This is going too far now. Google rather hyaluronic acid injections and botox, it’s 2021 after all!
You should be ready for aging, right?
And then you ask yourself what is meant by this “aging with dignity”. You would really like to do that, but you just have so little desire to grow old, and somehow you don’t find anything dignified about your new, permanently tired face. You decide that “Aging With Dignity” is something to look into once you are truly ready to age. You are still a long way from that. Thank God you can do one thing or the other today to postpone this process. Without letting yourself be lifted to the full and then probably doing what is commonly considered to be “undignified aging”.
And because you are so old that you used to watch “Harald Schmidt” regularly, always shortly before (or shortly after?) “Fast Forward” with Charlotte Roche, you have to remember how much he liked to joke about the physical decline. You now know what he meant. You think about your grandparents who you never felt like they were questioning their age. Even your parents joke about it at most times. Maybe you will be the first in this family to have the time to sit vain and superficial and get in a bad mood because of a few wrinkles.
Ultimately, this remains a text without a conclusion. You can’t do anything about aging – at most a few of its signs, but even that probably only for a while – it’s one big piece of crap. At some point, however, there may come a day when you simply don’t care about things like optics. You are not completely convinced of it yet, but yes – it may come. And then you will get yourself a paper plate full of Danish pastries at the bakery – something with pudding and a sticky topping – something that, according to the law, you can only buy as a granny. And with that, you sit in front of your television, watch afternoon quiz shows, and put your feet up. And then maybe that’s okay too somehow.