interview
From phallic symbol to designer piece: The days when owning sex toys was something offensive are long gone. Regular use is something quite common for women and men alike – but does this also apply to relationships? And can sex toys improve your love life? star has asked.
More and more people are now using sex toys. According to a survey, over 60 percent of women and almost 50 percent of men surveyed use sex toys. However, the statistics do not show how often sex toys enrich the love life of couples. Especially in long-term relationships, they are often seen as a miracle cure for a dull sex life. But are couple vibrators and the like really the solution? Ann-Marlene Henning, a renowned sex and couples counselor, tells the star in an interview.
“For many it is strange at first”: (S)Expert tips from a sex and couples counselor
She is one of Germany’s best-known sex therapists and a master of her craft – or more precisely of her subjects (sexology and couples therapy): Ann-Marlene Henning. The sexologist supports couples in their search for solutions for sexual lulls, sexual apathy or sexual desires. To improve a love life that may have become somewhat dull and to discover or rediscover the fun of sex. In the following interview, she answers whether sex toys for couples should play an important role in this.
Ms. Henning, why are some couples hesitant when it comes to sex toys?
For many couples, the topic has negative connotations. Sex toys often come up when people feel that their normal sex life is no longer working or is no longer enough. The motivation for using them plays a big role. If, on the other hand, a couple looks at the matter in a positive, playful and curious way, things look more friendly: sex toys can be a good stimulus for their own sex life.
Which sex toy would you recommend to couples who have no previous experience with it?
I would recommend a sex toy without a motor. And I would suggest starting with creams and feathers etc. Only when the couple has moved away from the conventional choreography of their sex can other things literally come into play. I have developed my own intimate-erotic game for couples who have not really felt each other for a long time. It starts with small, short conversations and leads to small, subtle touches. The end of the game is developed by the couple themselves – whether there is sex or not is entirely up to them. In general, I always start with feeling yourself and the other person.
Would you encourage couples to incorporate sex games into their love life?
Sex therapists rarely try to encourage couples to integrate sex toys, as the body’s own is more important. Sex toys cannot wake up a dormant love life. If a bored couple looks for a solution to their sex slump through toys, it will only be a brief flare-up and everything will be as boring as before. It is important to gain more knowledge about your own body and that of your partner. That is the main focus. Only then can toys be added. Especially for older people, for example men who can no longer achieve a sufficient erection after a prostate disease, toys can be a help-out, for example to still pamper your wife with sexual intercourse. For example, with a or a .
What are the typical beginner mistakes that many couples make when it comes to sex toys?
The typical beginner’s mistake is to assume that everything will get better immediately, as if by itself. The reality is often different. For many people, it is strange at first to fiddle around with plastic or silicone parts in bed. Motors hum, everything vibrates. As always, a good dose of humor helps. Little by little, you get used to it and can relax, then you can start experimenting and “playing”. Another mistake is that both partners get so used to the massive vibration and humming that nothing can be done without it. As I often think: tongues, fingers or penises do not vibrate.
Study: This is how much sex Germans have
In September 2020, a new survey on the topic of “Health and Sexuality in Germany” (GeSiD) attracted media attention. It was carried out by the University Medical Center Hamburg-Eppendorf (UKE), the Federal Center for Health Education (BZgA) and the social research institute Kantar. 4,955 adults (including 2,336 men and 2,619 women) between the ages of 18 and 75 took part. Among other things, it emerged that 42 percent of those surveyed consider the use of “dildos or vibrators” to be an unusual sexual practice. Which supports Ann-Marlene Henning’s statements about the fear of touching sex toys. And what about the sex life of those surveyed? This also emerges from the study: around a fifth of those surveyed said they had last been sexually active more than four weeks ago. In terms of frequency, women and men between the ages of 18 and 35 revealed that they have sex on average five times a month. Among those aged 36 to 45, it was still four times a month, and among those aged 46 to 55, it was 45 times over the course of a year. So, on average, four times a month.
More information can be found here.
Source: Stern
I’m Caroline, a journalist and author for 24 Hours Worlds. I specialize in health-related news and stories, bringing real-world impact to readers across the globe. With my experience in journalism and writing in both print and online formats, I strive to provide reliable information that resonates with audiences from all walks of life.
