Children who become narcissists: these are typical educational errors

Narcissism – a term that appears more and more in discussions about modern education. He describes a personality property that is shaped by excessive self -relatives, an almost unstable hunger for recognition and a lack of compassion. But how does narcissism develop? In addition to genetic influences, it is often the upbringing that contributes decisively. Some parental behaviors, well meant and created out of love, can unintentionally lay the roots for narcissistic features. Dem star Explains graduate psychologist Christine Geschke three typical educational errors that can favor this process, but also warns: “Narcissism is a profound psychiatric disease, you shouldn’t forget that. He must be delimited by someone who only shows selfish or narcissistic tendencies.”

Parents want the best for their child. They want it to grow up confidently, believe in themselves and realize its dreams. But if a child continues to be celebrated as the “smartest”, “most talented” or “greatest” being on earth, it loses the reference to reality. It can learn that it is not loved for its nature, but for its supposed superiority.

A classic example: The child paints a picture and instead of honest recognition, the mother says: “This is the most beautiful picture I’ve ever seen! You are a real genius!” Such exaggerations make the child believe that it always has to be extraordinary to be loved. Criticism or defeats will be difficult to cope with later. A claim arises: others should admire it as well as the parents. If this admiration is missing, there is a risk of uncertainty and frustration.

“Such behavior can lead to excessive self -esteem that is associated with strong thinking. Later, this attitude appears in interpersonal relationships – both in private and professional environment,” warns Geschke. People with this embossing often assume that they have to do little, but still expect a lot. Ultimately, this could result in selfish behavior that seems narcissically.

But not only excessive admiration can promote narcissism – also the opposite, namely emotional cold. When children learn that love and attention are only granted for performance or perfect behavior, they often develop a deep feeling of uncertainty. They later try to fill this inner emptiness with external recognition – be it through professional success, social status symbols or tireless self -staging. Or the child is deliberately negative.

“If a child is emotionally neglected and does not get any attention from his parents – even if it is nice – it can fall into a contrary attitude instead of adapting, it begins to become conspicuous,” says Geschke. This behavior often serves to force the parents’ attention, even if it only arises from negative events. “For example, bad grades or misconduct at school ensure that teachers are looking for a conversation with their parents and thereby forced them to deal with their child,” explains the expert. The child learns that it gets attention through negative, selfish or anti -social behavior – albeit in a paradoxical way.

A third mistake is just as harmful as exaggerated admiration or emotional distance: missing limits. Children need guardrails where they can orient themselves. Without clear rules and consequences, you do not learn that your behavior has an impact on others. You could believe that the world revolves around them – and expect everyone to follow their needs.

Think of a child who never hears a “no”. It can determine what is eaten, when sleeping and what shipments run on television. Such experiences shape: Anyone who never learns that other people also have needs and limits could later have difficulty to get into a community. The idea that your own wishes are not always the focus is difficult.

“We often make decisions based on our assessment of possible consequences. Fear arises not in isolation from a certain situation, but before the negative consequences that could result,” explains psychologist. However, if a child does not experience any negative consequences for his behavior, it learns that it can behave as it wants without having to take responsibility. It develops the feeling that it is always right and experience no limits. “This can promote selfishness, which is quickly perceived as a narcissistic tendency in the social environment,” warns Geschke. “As a result, such children often lack empathy, since they have not learned to reflect on the effects of their behavior on others.”

Parents have a great responsibility for the development of their children. So that self -confident sons and daughters do not become self -loving adults, a balanced educational behavior is crucial. Honest recognition instead of exaggerated praise, unconditional love instead of recognition only according to performance and clear rules instead of limitless freedom – these are the building blocks of healthy development.

A child should know that it is valuable – not because of his success or his special talent, but simply because it exists. This creates a stable self -esteem that does not depend on external confirmation. Parents who take this path help their child to stand firmly on the floor with both legs – confidently, but not themselves.