Strengthen love
Ten questions that we should definitely ask our partner again
“How are you really?” – A question that we ask our partner far too rarely. Instead, we talk about the household or the television program. Ten questions for more depth in the relationship.
This piece comes from the star archive and first appeared in March 2024.
How well do you know your partner? Most of us would probably answer something like that: “In and by heart. We are best friends. He tells me everything.” But is that really true? Most of the time, after the first phase of euphoric falling in love, we stop asking the really important and profound questions and instead talk about banalities such as household or news. Simply because we assume that we would know what to do in our partner anyway – as close as we are.
So it is normal that at some point we no longer philosophize with our loved one about God and the world every day. Nothing is wrong with that either. Sometimes, however, couples lose their connection to each other because the depth is gradually lost. We could easily change this by not losing curiosity to each other – and also ask questions that look behind the facade. Relationship coach Carolyn Litzbarski says in an interview with the star: “The inner world of our partner is more multifaceted than we are aware of, we just have to dare to explore it again and again.”
Your concrete tip: ask questions again and again – and listen to your partner impartially. This gives each other the opportunity to surprise each other again and (even) to get to know each other better. If you can’t think of anything that you always wanted to ask your partner at right, we have a few ideas.
Communication in the relationship: ten questions for a more intimate connection
How are you really?
A question that unfortunately often deteriorates to the phrase. It is worth taking them more seriously again and not letting themselves to be fed up. Thank you – usually we have significantly more complex feelings than just good or bad.
How do you think about it?
If we have known a person for a long time, we wrongly think that we already know his views. So we no longer ask. We don’t know anyone by heart, not even ourselves – because we all constantly change.
What is currently moving you?
Climate crisis, war, inflation – we all deal with the same problems, it often appears. But maybe your partner is currently pondering on a completely different matter. Here it is worth inquiring to be able to participate in things that are important in the life of the loved one.
What dream do you want to fulfill next?
Why? Quite simply: dreaming together is good, creates a connection and allows a couple to look into the future together. It gets even better if the dreams are fulfilled together or the partners can support each other.
What would you like to take more time for?
Speaking of support: You can not only signal this in the big topics of life, but also in everyday life. Sometimes hobbies go under in the appointment chaos, their own needs are neglected. If you know that, you can help your partner find the appropriate freedom.
Is there something that you in ours Relationship missing?
Of course, there can also be something missing within the couple relationship. Maybe time together, maybe freedom; Sometimes there is a lack of appreciation, sometimes support in the household – or you want more passion in bed again. The following applies here: If you don’t ask, you stay (unfortunately often) stupid.
How did I particularly hurt you this year?
Not every conversation is fun. Sometimes you have to look specifically where it hurts. There are no major injuries, even small swipes can hurt the other than we are aware of. It is therefore worthwhile to stay in exchange here to sharpen mindfulness for each other.
What have I enjoyed you lately?
The whole thing is of course the other way around. If we know which little gestures and words are really remembered by our partner, we can actively do something to cultivate a loving dealing with each other. And yes, it is also worth it if everything is already rosy.
What do you estimate the most about our relationship?
Grow together, together and together, that makes a healthy relationship for many people. But what are the other pillars of your own partnership? We often forget what we have special. It is high time to reflect on the common strengths.
What common memory do you like to think back?
Together in memories, we happily make us happier, even studies show. As a couple, you usually look back nostalgically to a whole range of treasures that have to be discovered again and again. Who knows, maybe your partner prefers to move back to a time that you don’t think directly about? Or they remember the first falling in love together – and thus bring the butterflies in the stomach to fly again.
Source: Stern
I’m Caroline, a journalist and author for 24 Hours Worlds. I specialize in health-related news and stories, bringing real-world impact to readers across the globe. With my experience in journalism and writing in both print and online formats, I strive to provide reliable information that resonates with audiences from all walks of life.
