When World Siblings Day is celebrated on April 10th this year, it’s almost a bit like celebrating the 60th wedding anniversary: In retrospect, it wasn’t always easy, but life without it would be unimaginable – because you love each other honestly and knows every little thing about each other.
This ambivalent relationship does not exist for nothing. While the relationship with the parents is at best on an equal footing, it is still characterized by their natural power imbalance. Up until kindergarten age, it is primarily siblings who have equal rights with children. That makes them not only a family member but also a friend. They are usually the people with whom you have the longest lasting relationships in life.
So do our siblings help shape us? What they really do to us:
Siblings make us more empathetic
As a little sister, the Swiss-German cabaret artist, blogger and author Hazel Brugger knows what she is talking about when she says: Siblings are “practice people”. You can argue, scream or even fight with them without having to fear losing their affection forever. They know each of our weak points, they know which cogs they have to turn. According to a study, siblings argue about every ten minutes on average. So even if it can often be tedious and nerve-wracking, this is the safe haven for acquiring social skills and empathy. You can hardly learn where your own limits and where the limits of other people lie in a more protected way than with siblings. It’s simply smarter to crush your sister’s artfully built sand castle than your school friend’s. The latter would sooner or later not want to play anymore. The sister forgives – also knowing that she will soon pay back.
Siblings make us healthier
Surely all the fighting must be unhealthy? Not necessarily. In an observational study, Swedish scientists found that having siblings can sometimes be of enormous health benefit. Men between the ages of 30 and 58 who grew up with one or two siblings had a significantly lower risk of dying from cardiovascular disease compared to men of the same age without siblings. However, their risk was lower than that of those who had grown up in families with four or more children. The data of the participants allowed comparable conclusions.
Siblings make us more successful
Possibly disappointing for all non-firstborns: Statistically, firstborns are more educated and earn more money than their siblings. This is simply due to the fact that parents (can) devote themselves more fully to their firstborn than to any other offspring, as researchers at the University of Edinburgh found out. Parents support their children emotionally on the same level. In terms of mental stimulation, however, firstborns seem to enjoy advantages in terms of time and quality. So siblings influence our careers, albeit indirectly. Advantage for everyone: Nobody else provides feedback as unembellished and direct as siblings. Your strict judgment lets us make better progress in our development.
Siblings make us smarter
But there is some consolation for those who have older siblings: younger siblings tend to be faster in terms of both their motor and their cognitive development. They benefit from the example of the older ones, to whom the parents could devote more time, but who used to have to take responsibility for themselves or their younger siblings. So it is not surprising that with sisters and brothers caring talents also develop strongly. After all, they are the first to comfort you when falling off your bike hurts or your first love breaks up.
Of course, the quality of a sibling relationship cannot be predicted with absolute certainty. Not every argument is unproblematic and allows children to grow. Not all siblings end up liking each other in adulthood. What is certain, however, is that we rarely have relationships in life that are more fateful and intense than those with our own siblings. Cheers to every torn drawing and every intentionally knocked over tower.
Source: Nachrichten
