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Rather, you noticed something that bothered you for a long time – a behavior, comments, omissions or changes. At the beginning you may push the negative feeling aside, wait and observe, until it eventually becomes inevitable: conflicts arise. “These can even be beneficial if they are addressed openly and solved together. If, on the other hand, disruptive things are repeatedly swept under the carpet or conflicts are resolved in a passive-aggressive manner, this is harmful for the couple – including for the children,” says Guy Bodenmann , professor of psychology in Zurich and couples therapist.
In his new guide, he teaches couples “Argue!” three central messages.
1. Disturbing things should be addressed.
2. This should be done early and not only when a lot of negative emotions have built up.
3. It depends on the way you address these things.
Using clear case studies, the renowned couple therapist and relationship researcher describes various patterns of disputes and their effects on the couple and the children.
Book tip: Guy Bodenmann: “Argue! How conflicts strengthen couples and their children”, Patmos-Verlag, 200 pages, 22 euros
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