Brigitte Krautgartner: “It is possible that everything will be fine”

Brigitte Krautgartner is the voice of the Ö1 religion department. The Upper Austrian studied theology and is the mother of a daughter.

You have published a book that is about illness, farewell and the happiness of new beginnings. What was the reason for the book?

Krautgartner: In March 2019 my partner died of cancer. It took a year and a half from diagnosis to his death. To put it quite neutrally: I have had a lot of experiences during this time. Learned a lot from it. For example, how important it is to get help in a timely manner. For example, in cancer support. I would like to share these experiences with people in similar situations so that they can learn from them. Not everyone has to keep reinventing the wheel. You can benefit from the experiences of others.

How did you get through the difficult times? “through dark valleys and out into the light”how do you write?

As I said, it was important to me to seek help as quickly as possible. And I tried to see the beauty even in difficult times. I consciously brought the positive into my life. For example, watching cheerful films in the cinema, eating tasty food, etc.

When does the state of mind as a bereaved or bereaved person change, when after saying goodbye does it move on again, uphill again?

I think it’s very different. For example, it depends a lot on what the relationship was with the deceased person. Were you dependent on her in any way – economically, emotionally? Is there something that has remained unresolved? Are you not at peace with the deceased person? If that is the case, then it can take a very long time. There is a lot that needs to be clarified within yourself and with regard to your external living conditions. In my experience, saying goodbye is not a step-by-step process. You can feel fine one day and then wake up the next day and the pain feels worse than ever. Then it’s just a matter of living through this situation as best as possible. I like to compare it to a hike. There are friendly clearings with flowers and then again rough terrain, steep climbs, fallen trees blocking the path. Whatever the surroundings are, you have to move on.

Based on your experience, would you say that not every beginning has magic?

I don’t think there’s any magic in every beginning. After all, there are painful phases in life that begin – and they are not pleasant, even at the beginning. What I like better is the idea that the word “crisis” from its origin too “chance” means. Of course, this is not always noticeable. When you’re in the middle of it, it doesn’t feel like that, it even seems cynical. You then think: Thank you very much, I would have gladly given up this opportunity. On the other hand, if you look at it objectively, this idea also has the character of a promise: It is possible that everything will be okay. Even if you don’t know exactly how this should happen. My faith certainly helped me in this regard. In the good moments I said to myself: I don’t have to do everything myself, there are higher powers that can do their part to make things work out for the better.

Who or what specifically helps with the restart?

I find outsiders very valuable because family members are usually overwhelmed by the loss. I highly recommend seeking grief counseling, good pastoral care or psychotherapy. And I think it’s important to be very conscious about saying goodbye while the sick person is still alive. So that on day X, as little as possible is open, which makes grieving even more difficult.

Brigitte Krautgartner: “It is light behind the clouds”Tyrolia Verlag, 168 pages, 19.95 euros

Mysticism and Spirit appears in cooperation between OÖNachrichten and the Catholic Church in Upper Austria.

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