As I always say, one @ says what he says and the other listens to what he listens -each one from their point of view, from their place, from their contexts, mental frameworks, experiences and others-; therefore, communication is not linear. So, There are certain keys for us to interact in the clearest and most assertive way possible, which help us reduce noise, avoid comings and goings, and allow us to make commitments with more chances of being fulfilled.
The 5 keys to keep in mind when ordering and/or communicating with our teams are:
→Understand that behind every complaint (yours or someone else’s) there is a need.
So when you find yourself complaining or hearing complaints from your team, stop and ask, “what am/are you needing?” Many times, we use the complaint because we cannot detect that need and it is our way of expressing it. Stopping to ask ourselves this will allow us to find and evaluate what is the need behind it. What is the use of detecting this? To have, then, clarity about what we want to ask for. When we don’t know what we need, we also don’t know what and how to ask. On the contrary, when we understand what our needs are, we know exactly what to ask for, how to do it, and even from whom.
→Generate the appropriate context to place the order.
When we make an order, it is important to contemplate and generate the appropriate context. From the most emotional to everything that has to do with everyday life, it is essential to choose a suitable time of day, create the climate that will facilitate both the fact of placing the order and receiving it, use the tone of voice or the means of communication most suitable for what we are requesting, choosing words, and paying attention to non-verbal communication, among other things.
→ Take into account who we are ordering from.
It is important to adapt the request flexibly to the abilities and capacities of the interlocutors. Just as it would be crazy to ask a sedentary person, who does not train, to climb Everest tomorrow or in a month; or no focused leader would dream of asking a junior collaborator to do senior tasks; It’s also not appropriate to ask more experienced talent to do jobs for which they are overqualified. It is essential, so that the request is received positively and there are more chances that it will be fulfilled in a timely manner, to adapt it to the skills and abilities of the people to whom it is addressed.
→ Open possibilities.
When we ask for something that has the plus of creating new possibilities for me and for the other, that contains an opportunity for growth and professional enrichment for the recipient of the request, we are on the right track; one that, in addition, will also allow us to nurture the employment relationship with the other person.
→ Make clear requests that do not depend on the interpretation of the other.
To achieve this, the orderer needs to add all the necessary details. For example:
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What are my conditions of satisfaction in this order? This means, in what way, once the request is delivered, will I measure that the work done satisfies me and meets my expectations. An example is when we say: “I want this report as soon as possible”. When is “as soon as possible”? Perhaps for me it will be within the next two hours, and for my interlocutor it will be “sometime this week”.
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How do I want what I am asking for? How? By email, printed, in PDF or in a word, with or without images, with or without graphics, etc.
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What does this that I am telling the other person mean to me? For example, if you ask him to give you a “nice” or “long” or “short” or “detailed” report, what do those characteristics mean to you? Once again, avoid leaving to the interpretation of the other what is important to you. Whether something is cute or ugly, neat or messy, short or long depends on each person’s interpretation, so detailing what cute means to you will solve many comings and goings and, above all, it will avoid unnecessary frustration.
When we comply with these keys and respect these points, we begin to communicate in an assertive and positive way. We are opening the space so that the interlocutor (who may be our collaborators or perhaps a leader of the company) accept or reject what we are asking of them. And therein lies the crux of the matter: offer all the conditions so that the other person can decide if he wants and can -or not- comply with the request.
When, after taking all these steps, there is clear and total acceptance of the other person, we get the expected commitment from the other party, that is, the promise of “Yes, what you are asking me for, I can do it.” Instead, when we get responses like “I look”, “I will think about it”, “I will do my best” It is important to understand that we are not receiving a YES and, therefore, the request or offer was not accepted (yet, or under these conditions) and it may be time to negotiate, offer, or look for other alternatives.
Degree in Communication (UBA) and Professional Coach (with ICF endorsement).
Source: Ambito
