In his imaginary it can be assumed that anyone more intelligent, more experienced or competent could threaten your own leadership capacity. This is especially true if you have the belief that in order to be good at leading teams, you must first be absolutely outstanding and extraordinary at everything. At least that’s what your mind believes at the moment of the threat.
That’s why, at many executive levels, when it comes to selecting team members, this logic can have disastrous effects on their performance and how they perceive you as a leader. The brain detects “danger” in the unconscious “threat” and acts reactively, deviating from the desired result.
If you think that by hiring people much more capable, intelligent and shrewd than you, you lose position, and you find yourself with these thoughts recurrently, it is time to stop worrying and go into collaboration mode. Here I explain it to you step by step.
Why good people can feel threatened
There is an ego factor that gets in the way when you hire people who you feel are superior to you in many ways. The ego, as an indissoluble part of who we are, will want to get in the way in a bad way, not only bringing you limiting thoughts that they are going to “saw the floor” for you, but also attempting against the natural development of the team and the business.
I have seen a dozen leaders succumb under these deviant and condemnatory beliefs, not only belittling the capabilities of others, but also their inability to accept that there is someone with better skills, and that it is not possible to know everything, no matter how experienced you are.
In these cases, the ego gets in the way in such a way that it prevents them from focusing on what is really important, which is knowing how to surround yourself with the best possible people, who will be the lever and help necessary to grow at the same time.
5 factors to overcome ego when choosing team members
First factor: It is natural to feel threatened some of our capacities
It is almost certain that at some point you will feel threatened by its capabilities. The thing is, if you let your insecurities take over management and your ego take over, you’ll end up creating a mediocre environment, surrounding yourself with people of little professional worth, and with more or less acceptable results at best. cases.
Also, if you have this ego-based attitude, you will make top talents uncomfortable. And when they feel uncomfortable, they are likely to leave.
practical tools: If you feel fear and this activates the danger signal of threat in your reptilian brain -the one that faces or flees from situations- and that causes its permanent insecurity to surface, you can ask yourself questions to understand where these feelings come from:
Ask yourself why and for what these people would want to work on your team, since they will surely see something in you. Make a list of your experience and the contribution you could give them, to balance the scales, and work on your mental openness to make the fear you feel more flexible, and over time, overcome it.
A psychotherapy process – in this case I suggest the cognitive behavioral current (focused, specific and practical) – combined with professional executive coaching will help you process this issue and be more effective.
Second factor: Overcoming the ego
From my perspective, the ego can be a great booster of energy and confidence if you know how to self-regulate. The inconvenience occurs when it overflows and you live riding on it, which will give you an obtuse vision, and perhaps with pride and arrogance.
To do this, you can adopt the collaborative leadership model, that is, the idea that we all have something to contribute to the team and the end result is better for it.
Collaboration is the key to success in any organization, starting with leading by example when selecting your team.
If you adopt this spirit, you will send a clear message that you are open enough to work together. Watch how they work and let them do it with you. Remember: The best professionals want to work with you, not for you. People want confident leaders, not top-down bosses.
Third factor: Make allies instead of enemies
Any leader in their field knows that you cannot achieve extraordinary results alone. That is why it is so disliked when someone takes all the credit for a team success.
Working in a model of internal alliances, helping each other, is what will give you more security, and will help your ego feel safe and not threatened.
Tools: Start by designing a special support of two or three people in whom you recognize their talent. It generates trust and mutual empathy, so that both parties make contributions and together choose the best courses of action.
At the same time, check your emotions: what do you feel? Is there tension in any part of your body when you interact or give a brilliant idea? Are you able to congratulate and recognize their talent? Lower the volume to your ego, and you will see how you will achieve it.
Fourth: We all have unique talents
Just as we come with a unique and unrepeatable fingerprint, talents are also distinguished by their uniqueness. Feel free to call them gifts, abilities, competencies.
Tools: If you cannot recognize yours, start working on self-knowledge, which is what will allow you to internally explore these internal distinctions, sometimes subtle or that you have not registered.
You can make a list of those things in which you consider that you are good, ask trusted people to receive feedback, and write down in a visible place the positive aspects that you have: if you look at them every day you will strengthen them in your subconscious mind, the one that generates emotions and feelings.
Keep in mind that part of the insecurity that the ego jumps out of is based on what you consider your flaws or weaknesses that you contrast with the talent you see in others. So this exercise focuses on highlighting your strengths.
Fifth: Feeling vulnerable does not mean being weak
Most people believe that exposing themselves to others makes them weak; however, in most cases, the opposite happens, because it humanizes and magnifies you.
We are all vulnerable to life situations; although the weakness is different, because in this case you feel that you are not capable, deserving, or that you do not come up with brilliant ideas like others.
Pay close attention in these cases, because they may be showing you a disfigured version of you. The most graphic example is when your “I can’t” permanently interferes with all the “I can” that you could do.
Tools: It’s about self-perceptions, which is how you see yourself as a leader in your inner mirror.
Think: How do I look? What does the image I see reflect and inspire me? What would be a better image that I want to see from now on, and that I can build from within myself?
These three questions will guide you towards an inner reconciliation that will give you greater strength. You will not need to feel any internal threat when you are in front of someone in whom you see talents, because you also have yours: different, and yours; and complementary to those of others.
To conclude, I want to leave you with other steps that I have tried and that have worked for me. It all starts with accepting yourself unconditionally. Then start to work firmly on these aspects that limit you; Look for a therapist, your business coach, and any accompaniment you need.
Another strategy is through conscious observation of where your thoughts are going, and to do so requires attention and permanent mental vigilance. Detect especially if those thoughts are contributive and help you grow, or if they are negative and divert you from the path. Examine them and, with your mental GPS, direct them where you want them to go. Meditation and mindfulness will be helpful at this point.
Building a great team is crucial for any organization, especially when you have executive positions. The ideal is to find complementary professionals among themselves, and with respect to you, without this becoming a threat and you stop seeing threatening ghosts everywhere.
Facilitator and Executive Master Coach specialized in senior management, professionals and teams; mentor and professional communicator; international speaker; author of 32 books. LinkedIn Top Voice Latin America. ICF Certified Professional Coach at its highest level, Certified Coach and John Maxwell Team Member.
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