Tips from the professional
Ten things that you should never say about your colleagues
One of the biggest job enthusiasts? Colleagues. Naggers, know -it -all, dridgeberger – it’s not always easy. Nevertheless, you should think carefully about how to talk to them.
Home office from the sofa, four-day week, regular sabbaticals-the world of work is changing. It becomes more flexible. But the impression that nobody in the job soon wants to make a finger in the job is deceptive. The Germans work as much than for a long time. This is shown by numbers one. 55 billion hours spent dependent employees working in 2023. The last time the last time was done 30 years ago. Even though the average weekly working time decreases. The numbers can be explained by the women. More and more of them are employed.
On average, women spend 33 hours a week with work, for men it is an average of 40 hours. A lot of lifetime that you share with your colleagues. Or must share. Because with whom you end up in a team, you are often decided elsewhere. And so you sometimes sit at the table with people with whom you prefer not to drink beer privately.
One is huge, the other just grumbles around, and the third has a talent for making themselves invisible in the distribution of tasks. But even if it sometimes crunches at work, a certain way of dealing should be preserved. Teresa Stockmeyer knows which statements are inappropriate for colleagues, what effects can have and how to do better. She is a trainer for team development.
To person
Teresa Stockmeyer is a studied communication scientist, sociologist and certified agile coach with a soft spot for brain research, group dynamics and human behavior. As a trainer for team development, she uses her knowledge and helps people to address and address things they annoy. Teresa Stockmeyer is the managing director of Good Teamwork Rocks.
Ten statements in the job that should be resisted in dealing with colleagues
- Deviction and personal attacks
Statements such as “That was clear that you couldn’t do it” hurt colleagues, destroy trust and damage the relationship. They often arise from frustration or stress. However, they damage the long term because they often lead to conflicts or defensive behavior.
Better: Remain factual: “It didn’t go as planned. Let’s see what we can change together.” This addresses the problem without burdening the relationship, and the conversation remains solution -oriented. - Generalizations
Generalizations such as “You always do that wrong” or “Nobody supports me here” are flat -rate and leave little space for constructive solutions. They often arise from anger or the feeling of being overlooked. However, colleagues feel unfairly treated and block. Such statements distract from the actual problem, reinforce conflicts and make an objective discussion more difficult.
Better: Talk to specific situations, for example: “There was a problem with the last project. How can we avoid this next time and make it better?” This becomes tangible and solvable. - Compare with other colleagues
Compare like “Why can’t you work how …?” Damage to self -esteem and demotivate. Such statements often arise from frustration or the desire for better results, but they ignore individual strengths. Affected people feel unfairly treated, which inhibits cooperation.
Better: Recognize your colleagues’ individual skills: “Your approach is good. How can we make it even more effective?” This promotes motivation, directs the focus to a common goal and thus improves cooperation. - Subvisory and distrust
Substities such as “You do this deliberately wrong” or “You just want your advantage” are emotionally stressful and often lead to defense reactions. Such statements usually arise from a lack of understanding or pressure, but damage trust. They prevent open conversations and stir up conflicts.
Better: Ask for the backgrounds: “I don’t quite understand your approach. Can you explain why you are doing this?” So they clarify misunderstandings without blaming and promote respectful cooperation. - Condescending comments
Sentences such as “This understands every child” or “I could have told you that immediately”. They often arise from impatience or a careless tone, but damage the relationship level. Colleagues do not feel taken seriously, which reduces their willingness to cooperate.
Better: Support appreciatively: “The topic is complicated. Should I explain it again?” This creates understanding without reducing someone and promotes a positive working atmosphere. - Criticize someone in front of other colleagues
Criticism of others, for example “that was really bad,” just puts colleagues and significantly reduces their motivation. Such statements often arise impulsive, out of anger or stress. However, they put a strain on the team mood and lead to the person concerned feels humiliated.
Better: Expect criticism in one -off and factual criticism in one -on -one discussions: “I have feedback on your work. Can we briefly sit down?” Justify your criticism and express wishes so that the person has a chance to do it differently next time. In this way, the criticism remains factual and solution -oriented. - “This is not my problem”
This sentence signals disinterest and lack of team orientation. Such statements often arise out of overwhelming or frustration, but act unsolidarically and reinforce the feeling of being left alone. If you cannot count on support permanently, you will not offer any help yourself.
Better: Show will to support and help to find the right contact: “This is not my area directly, but let’s see together who can support you.” Often it helps colleagues to get a second opinion or perspective on their problem. This promotes team spirit and trust. - Give non -helpful (and unrailed) “advice”
Some advice is more strikes than advice: “I would have done that differently”. They look knowledgeable and not very constructive. Interestingly, these statements often arise from the desire, but do not arrive in the other person. On the contrary: those affected are discouraged, feel over, and dare to develop their own solutions.
Better: Offer support: “If you like, we can look at it together.” Or ask: “How can I support you?” So they do not act patronizing and promote personal responsibility. - Ignore concerns and concerns
Anyone who says sentences how: “This is no reason for excitement” or “that doesn’t affect us”, passes over the feelings and concerns of his colleagues. Such reactions often arise from time pressure or incomprehension, but have a condescending effect. Ignorated concerns quickly lead to frustration and weaken the (open) communication in the team.
Better: Be empathic and react understanding: “I realize that this will put it on. What do you need? How can we deal with it?” This signals appreciation and promotes a solution -oriented attitude without any worries. - Put private things into the discussion
Comments like “No wonder you are single” or “If you would organize your life better, that would not be a problem” are unprofessional and disrespectful. They often arise from frustration or in disputes and lead to further injuries and tensions. Such emotional statements have no benefit, but can do great damage and put a lasting strain on the cooperation.
Better: There is no better here. The following applies: best leave out personal topics in a professional context. People who are confronted with such comments best first leave the situation: “Let’s take a short break and later talk about how we find a common path.”
Source: Stern
