Happy relationship? With these tips you will destroy your happiness

What is a happy relationship? Simple answer: something different for everyone. While some couples conduct their liaison with as few emotional fluctuations as possible, calmly and harmoniously, other couples need passionate turbulence, drama. For some people the plates fly in an argument, for others it’s always all sunshine and roses. Although no two relationships are the same, there are a few behaviors that anyone who prefers a happy relationship to an unhealthy one can follow. On the other hand, if you want to get rid of your partner…

Iron out difficult conversations

The family budget is almost empty, but your partner still spends the money like it grows on trees? Just don’t talk to him about it. Does your wife only find fault with you? Don’t ask yourself what’s behind it – it could ultimately improve something.

Happy couples don’t sweep their problems under the carpet, they actively address them and seek open, honest and constructive conversations. The results of one show, among other things, that resolving conflicts can be beneficial not only for relationships but also for health. But you shouldn’t force the conversation either. Because if the other person doesn’t want to speak up at all, it can actually make the basic situation worse.

“If one partner wants to resolve disagreements while the other prefers to avoid arguments, both are unconsciously dissatisfied with how their conflicts are handled. This can then lead to stress more often in everyday life – and this has a negative long-term impact on your health,” explained study director Kyle Bourassa to the .

It’s best to keep a record of how often your partner does something good for you and how often he annoys you. No flowers for Valentine’s Day? Minus point. Borrowed a car and returned it with an empty tank? Minus point. After all, you have to know if you’re investing more in the relationship than the other person, right? If you want to have a happy relationship, it’s better to skip the bookkeeping.

Because it’s just like that: people who love each other don’t actually mean anything bad to their partner. They like to do something good for each other. They bring over a cup of coffee without being asked or massage the other person’s annoying working day out of their heads – of their own free will and not because it is demanded, of course. And certainly not with the expectation that the other person has to give something in return.

But if there is actually an imbalance, couples should talk about it openly. Because, as the couples therapist explains: “If communication in the relationship is poor, a kind of emotional gap gradually develops. If the emotional connection is lost, your partner can sit next to you on the couch and you still feel lonely. “

If your loved one is constantly on the cell phone and writing messages to your “colleague”, it’s better to see for yourself that the colleague is not actually a lover. Just pick up your cell phone when she’s in the shower and…

If you want to get rid of your partner, spying is a good way to achieve your goal – because snooping into the other person’s private space is a violation of boundaries and a breach of trust. In a stable relationship, trust should prevail and the feeling that the other person is hiding something or even deceiving you should not even arise. “Spying happens all the time and can be fatal for a relationship,” says couples therapist Alexandra Hartmann in . And: “If I have good basic trust, I come to it less quickly than if I am fundamentally an insecure person.”

Managing relationships is not an easy task. Have you smoked in secret even though you promised your partner not to? It’s best to just deny it and lie rather than endure hours of discussion!

People in happy relationships can get by without lying. They see themselves as a team that pulls together, not as adversaries. Instead of deceiving others and lying disrespectfully to their faces, they stick to the truth and maintain honest, open relationships with one another.

“Building a relationship on lies is like laying a foundation on sand,” says therapist. “Without sincerity, it is impossible to build a stable and lasting partnership. In order not to be forced to make such decisions, you should try to communicate well from the beginning and be honest with your partner about your own needs and expectations.”

Take it for granted

At the beginning of a relationship, we show our best side and court the object of desire. Once you’ve won the other person over, you don’t have to do anything anymore, you can just sit back and let the relationship sail along.

You can do it. But if you want to call your partner your partner for a while, you should leave it alone. No life partner is ever a natural part of our lives, nor should they be treated as a matter of course. Sexual and couples therapists also emphasize that relationships are not automatic. If you want the relationship to last, you have to do something about it, “from day one and even after years.”