Psychologist reveals: You should know these nine things about love

Love is something very individual for everyone and yet there are a few facts that every person in life should know. Randi Gunther has been in business for 40 years. She helped countless people and relationships as a psychologist and marriage consultant. She herself says that she spent around 130,000 personal hours with individuals, couples and families. This made the psychologist based in California to summarize nine facts for love for the magazine “Psychology Today”.

All walls fall
In addition to pain and grief, love is the strongest feeling of man. Love can cause us to drop all the walls that we built up, that we show ourselves more vulnerable than ever. Love can also bring out emotions and trauma for a long time. Basically, according to Gunther, you are more sensitive, reactionable or more alert, but also emotionally naked, but also emotionally naked.

Love comes and goes
Do you know love at first glance? And have you ever wondered how it can be that you look at a person and drive it through you like lightning? Love is not predictable, but also not necessarily constant. Because as quickly as she came, she can disappear again. The feeling of love can sometimes move in waves in life and sometimes more and less present.

Stress kills love
The feeling of stress and problems robs everyone the last nerve and also the love of a partner harms the stress. Because this influences the emotional, intellectual and physical performance of everyone. It relocates the focus, which then usually relates to the solution to the existing problem. Some give up under the burden of stress and acknowledges the relationship, another can become interpersonal, since love at that time cannot be a priority. However, the fact is, according to the marriage consultant, stress can break love.

Love can defeat everything through a fabric
The biochemical attraction of two people is not controllable and serves to keep species. The more different and therefore more coherent the DNA of the other, the higher the likelihood that you will feel very attracted. This serves to reproduce and mix an optimal gene pool. But biochemical messenger substances such as oxytocin can do much more. Oxytocin is also happy to be called the cuddly hormone, because it creates the feeling of solidarity and closeness above all. But also other things, such as good food, beautiful music, stroking your pet or meditation. Even deep eye contact can already increase your oxytocin level. And this hormone has a special superpower: it contributes to stress reduction and relieves emotional and physical pain.

The journey into the past
Because of, one should not always reminisce because they belong to the past! When it comes to love, this can even have a positive effect on the relationship, especially in stressful times. According to Randi Gunther, the conscious cause of beautiful, common memories, telling old stories and looking at beautiful souvenir photos can repair a alienated relationship a little and bring the partners closer together.

Love is not a matter of course
Almost everyone has heard or read this sentence in their lives, but do you take it to take it too? The psychologist Gunther gained experience in her forty year career that love should never be taken for granted. Love is work, you should show them and appreciate affection. In addition, according to Gunter, it should be a nicer feeling to love yourself than to receive love.

Love is difficult to reanimate
When the relationship and love was really badly damaged, ignored and has been kicked with feet, it is actually difficult to reanimate the feeling of lightness and cohesion again. Most partners are still fighting for a long time, but if you first reach the point of silence and resignation, the psychologist warns of “too little and late actions”, better sooner than later reflect on where the journey should go .

Humor, joy and hope are the fuel of love
The greatest glue of love is humor, joy and hope in a relationship. If you do not lose humor even in difficult life situations, together has hope that better times will come, regardless of whether the impacts occur inside or outside the relationship and look together in the future.

Outer influences can damage love
Friends, family or religion can cause significant damage from the love from the outside. Either the connection is strengthened or destroyed from the outside and the psychologist clearly advises: in such a situation, you have to set priorities in such a situation and put the influence, depending on the prioritization. Do you hold the blaspheming family because you think that they are probably right or a partner and adjust the blasphemy? To give just one example of how external influences can harm love.

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