Dating dilemma: How many compromises should I make?

Dating dilemma: How many compromises should I make?

Stefanie Stahl and Lukas Klaschinski write in their star-Column about love, relationships and family. This time it’s about boundaries and self-sacrifice when dating.

This piece comes from the stern archive and first appeared in July 2024.

Lukas Klaschinski: A friend recently told me about her dilemma: she met someone on a dating app and had two lovely dates with them. But she quickly realized that the two of them were at opposite ends of the spectrum in one respect: she herself is a pleasure-seeker, likes to go out and treat herself to great food every now and then. Her new acquaintance, on the other hand, seems to be extremely frugal, not out of necessity but out of a natural inclination. My friend is now wondering whether the two of them will be able to cope with their different lifestyles in the long term.

Many people who are currently looking for a partner are familiar with situations like this. They may feel unsure: Should I open up more to the other person? Am I too demanding if I give up on someone because of such differences? And on the other hand: Am I not betraying myself if I ignore my own wishes and values? Where is the line between healthy giving in and unhealthy self-abandonment?

Source: Stern

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