psychology
Are you emotionally intelligent? You can see it from that
How do you find out whether someone has little emotional intelligence – has a small EQ, i.e. emotional quotient? A renowned psychologist explains what characteristics affected almost always have.
Anyone who has a high emotional intelligence has a very problem -free everyday life: conversations with others are pleasant, you are perceived as sympathetic and find others personally likeable. Emotionally intelligent people are not uncomfortable. The situation is different for people with a low EQ, the so -called emotional quotient: they take a regular basis, look rugged or even in common on others. It is difficult for them to maintain friendships or relationships. Again and again you get negative feedback from your fellow human beings.
Unlike his “colleague”, the more well -known IQ, the emotional quotient has nothing to do with classical intelligence. Rather, he says how much someone is in contact with their own emotions and how sensitive their antennas are for the feelings of other people. In his book “Social Intelligence”, the renowned US psychologist Daniel Goleman has shown how someone has a low EQ. There are particularly four characteristics that come together for those affected:
People with little emotional intelligence rarely listen carefully
People with a high EQ are empathetic, can feel in others and are interested in their fellow human beings. This is different with someone with a rather low EQ: the honest interest in others is missing, it is more important to have your own well -being. Such people have little patience if someone tells them something that takes longer than a few minutes. Even if it is really important. Instead of listening carefully, someone visibly wanders off, looks at the cell phone, sighs or even twists their eyes. In any case, this will have the feeling that what was said was not important to that.
People with little emotional intelligence are extremely sensitive
If in doubt for the accused? This view is difficult for people with low EQ. You feel attacked and insulted immediately if others are not satisfied with your opinion or with your work. Suggestions for improvement feel like criticism for you. In addition, it is difficult to imagine that not everyone acts from the same motifs as they or someone reacts differently to things than they would do. Here, too, the lack of empathy in others is the cause of the problem. The result: instead of assuming that you meet your environment in a friendly manner – or at least neutral -, emotionally less intelligent people often assume that others directly want to evil them. They then react accordingly to supposed attacks.
People with little emotional intelligence never blame themselves
When people with low emotional intelligence reflect on their own action, everything they do seems right and meaningful to them. Unfortunately, this has nothing to do with a healthy self -confidence. Rather, they lack the talent to see themselves as part of a group, be it a circle of colleagues, a friend or a family. If something goes wrong, they always acted absolutely correctly after their perception – and perhaps overlook misunderstandings, unnoticed affronts, or the injured feelings of others. According to this logic, someone must be to blame for existing problems. So if someone talks about broken relationships with other people, but apparently never contributed to it themselves, this could be an indication of a rather low EQ.
People with little emotional intelligence regularly exceed borders
Today you would like to do the whole day on the couch, do sports tomorrow full of enthusiasm and go dancing in the evening. Today you take your face when you think of broccoli casserole, but tomorrow that sounds delicious. This is quite normal, because we humans constantly change our mood, our opinion and our behavior. This is how we adapt to new conditions. This is exactly what is difficult for people with low emotional intelligence: they are less flexible, mostly behave quite predictable themselves and are fans of routines. It is difficult for them to understand why a gag is not appropriate in certain situations if it has caused loud laughs in others. Or why you shouldn’t make a professional announcement if the corresponding colleague has a bad day anyway. For others, this always feels like a rough crossing of the border.
I feel addressed. What now?
A low EQ is not a character defect, this is important – no reason to be ashamed. Each of us is simply born with a different personality composition. As psychologist Daniel Goleman writes in his book, you can train his emotional intelligence. However, this requires work: not only to perceive your behavior and your own feelings for some time, but also very consciously pay attention to his fellow human beings, their behavior and their reactions.
It can also help to go out of your own comfort zone into an environment that is as unknown as possible in order to get a new look at the world. Perhaps travel to an unknown country or simply take a course on a topic that you had no idea about. There are also therapists and coaches that those affected can help those affected to more emotional intelligence.
Source: Stern
I’m Caroline, a journalist and author for 24 Hours Worlds. I specialize in health-related news and stories, bringing real-world impact to readers across the globe. With my experience in journalism and writing in both print and online formats, I strive to provide reliable information that resonates with audiences from all walks of life.
