Dive a new beginning: Why we should dare to go new ways

Stupidly, we humans are habitual animals. We only like to stay in our comfort zone. And often until it not only becomes uncomfortable, but almost unbearable. So we cling to relationships in which no one has been happy for a long time or invest valuable time and energy in the job that only frustrated us every day.

Do you know? Don’t worry – you are not alone with that. In science there are even some theories of why we prefer to satisfy ourselves with dissatisfaction instead of changing something in our lives. For example the “Prospect Theory”. She says that we secretly hope that our frustration will pay off at some point. So we avoid starting new things.

It’s a bit like a gambling machine that we keep throwing money into to crack the jackpot. Only gambling not only makes you addictive, but often also deprives us of our (financial) resources. Here comes the principle of “cognitive dissonance”. Instead of admitting that we ran in the wrong direction – for example by throwing more and more money in the machines – we do everything we can to fail to maintain a worldview that is harmonious for us.

The problem is only: if we live a life that does not suit us, then all the world’s commitment will not bring us anything. At some point we will have to admit that a change must be made. At the latest when your own resources are at the limit. In this context, sociologist Annelie Keil speaks in her book “When life calls for help”, otherwise of an “unnecessary life”. She is certain that those who are always denied the fresh start, not only makes themselves unhappy, but also sick in the long run.

Nevertheless, we often only act when we have long been in a real life crisis. You can roughly break down the impulses that really bring us to a fresh start: sorry and passion. Either the suffering is greater than our evolutionary fear of uncertainty that a fresh start brings – or our passion for a goal or a dream overshadows the potentially negative sides of a lifestyle.

But what are we actually afraid of? So that something new can begin, we have to say goodbye to something old. And we humans are not made for letting go. We are hunters, collectors and herd animals – we need society and a certain level of structure and security to feel good. If we now choose a fresh start, we have to leave old patterns, dreams and values ​​behind. This is often accompanied by a queasy gut feeling.

But if we take a closer look, we will find that life naturally consists of a chain of several new beginnings and farewells. We learn to crawl and stop crawling. We start working and leave the school days behind. We take off the parents’ house to start a new phase of life in a separate home …

We have everything that makes our life today – be it our relationship, the job or our circle of friends – because at some point we said “yes” at some point at a new start. This makes new beginnings something very natural. Clearly, it still requires courage to take a new way in life. But if we succeed in losing the awe before the new beginning and instead seeing the chances in the new, then completely new opportunities are sometimes open up.

It is like this: We all (probably) only have this one life. And life is rarely really straightforward. Above all, the many turns in unknown terrain far away from your own comfort zone make up life. If you are dissatisfied with your current life and have a dream that you don’t dare to dream, just ask yourself: why not?