Statistically speaking, infidelity is the most common reason for breakups in relationships. But studies have shown psychological reconciliation strategies that make it more likely that your partner will forgive you.
A romantic and monogamous relationship is not an easy undertaking in the long term for many people. In 2022, the German divorce rate was over 35 percent. One of the most common reasons for ending a relationship is infidelity, according to a survey by the dating portal ElitePartner.
The biggest problem when it comes to infidelity is the enormous breach and loss of trust within a relationship. In the best case scenario, your partner should be a “safe haven” and best friend, a person you trust completely. If he or she cheats, a breach in interpersonal trust occurs that is difficult to mend.
Often, after the infidelity comes to light, the question remains whether it is possible to rebuild trust and, above all, how to take the first step of apologizing. A recently published study by University of Nicosia researchers Menelaos Apostolou and Nikolaos Pediaditakis shed light on the variety of methods people used to seek forgiveness after an affair.
To do this, the researchers conducted a series of detailed surveys in three studies and came up with a selection of reconciliation strategies. An additional 657 adults were then surveyed and confirmed this. From this, the researchers concluded that the following behaviors are most effective:
Six reconciliation strategies after infidelity
Make the importance of the relationship clear
When apologizing, many cheaters convinced their partner by explaining that they couldn’t or didn’t want to live without the other person and that the damaged relationship meant a lot to them.
Find reasons for infidelity
Respondents said they gave reasons for the infidelity but that they could work on them as a couple in the future. This means that, in their eyes, the infidelity only came about because emotional distancing, neglect or allegations of cheating put too much strain on the relationship, even though it hadn’t happened yet.
One variation was to downplay the importance of cheating. Unimportant person paired with alcohol consumption, for example. The famous phrase “It didn’t mean anything” was uttered.
Ask others for help
Some people who have been unfaithful have asked friends and relatives to help appease the betrayed partner and make him or her believe that it will “never happen again.”
The inclusion of others
Some people apologized and then asked their betrayed partner to help repair the relationship. They suggested a marriage counselor or couples therapy.
In a sample of 416 people, the researchers found that 40 percent of those surveyed were able to achieve reconciliation with at least one of the reactions, writes Psychology Today magazine. However, it is important to keep in mind that the entire study took place in Cyprus and there may be cultural differences in the effectiveness of reconciliation strategies around the world.
Sources: “”, , ,
I am an author and journalist who has worked in the entertainment industry for over a decade. I currently work as a news editor at a major news website, and my focus is on covering the latest trends in entertainment. I also write occasional pieces for other outlets, and have authored two books about the entertainment industry.