Florian Schroeder-Kolumn: Who wants to rule this people?

The Chancellor insults Berlin’s cultural senator as a court jester – a name that insults me, because these are actually we satirists. At least in the perception of those who believe that Olaf Scholz writes my texts. He doesn’t, because I would have immediately removed such a bad and inaccurate punch line from the text.

Robert Habeck wrote this a doctoral thesis 25 years ago and quoted according to the rules at that time. This petitesse is not even worth the line that is currently being created here. But the general excitement makes it a headline, as if a Nixon affair would be in the house.

The election campaign is short, the excitement is great. So far, so predictable. It is cold in Berlin, it is snowing, a winter election campaign is not used to in Germany. Maybe the nerves are bare. In any case, after this and the previous election campaign weeks, the question arises more than ever: Who should rule this country? But in the opposite direction. Who should rule a country after the excitement, which is loudly excited again in the breaks of excitement? Who is supposed to rule a country that consists of perceived 84 million Naggers, complaints and political ones?

In couple therapy one would speak of the Germans as a toxic partner. One that you can never please. Psychologists call this dilemma the “really important” paradox. One partner – here the democratic parties – does everything to make the voters right, not to burden them, not hurt them, sometimes to the limit of pain and beyond the limit of self -denial. And what does the partner say about the voters? “I’m just not important to you, you don’t see me! You don’t see my needs! “

In couple therapies, this dilemma often leads to the separation of the partners because it is simply not solvable, or better because it can only be solved if both sides first solve their own problems. But that does not seem to be available in the line of conflict between politicians and voters described here. And that is not due to the rulers and those who would like to be. It is because of the sovereign, the voters whom you simply cannot please. Probably because he himself does not know what he actually wants from his partner, the state.

Maybe he knows that very well, but it is simply not affordable: it is the notorious egg -laying wool milk sow. You will be able to watch the next Sunday at the TV Quadrell again. It should be an epic battle that deserves the name! Just like in America! The scraps should fly there! But no, at the same time it shouldn’t be like in America. After all, we want everyone to love each other.

This shows the lying of the citizens on the political stage, which is only reflected in the above: just as you want in Germany on the one hand on the one hand, the whole-ko-all-inclusive state, which should solve all problems, but the one too At the same time please leave alone. A state that leaves its citizens the greatest possible freedom, but please do not require personal responsibility. A state that makes everything functional: schools, rails, rails, everything has to run like lubricated, but this state should not charge taxes. Yes, where do we live?! Kleptocracy!

This country, nobody can rule this voter. Who wanted to be such a masochist to only lead this deeply spoiled, arrogant people for a day? After all, this people, the politician, whom it does, should finally say what is, as in the past, like the Wehner and the Strauss and all the old Haudegen, who only knows this unsoverable country from old documentary on YouTube. But when that happens, then the one who dares to just say everything is of course no longer Kanzlerlike. How can he say something like that? Do you want one like that? For heaven’s sake, where do we live? You want edge, but one that you can bump into, but the request is so soft that it doesn’t hurt.

Life in Germany should be like a bungee jump: in free fall, but always well secured, in order to then gently come up with the bottom of the network.

Florian Schroeder, born in 1979, is a satirist, author and publicist. He studied German studies and philosophy in Freiburg. In the ARD he hosted the programs “late shift”, “the Florian Schroeder satireshow” and “Schroeder is allowed” until 2023. He published several books, for example “under insane. Why we need evil.” He is currently on tour with his “Restart” stage program. Since June 2024, Schroeder has “short and painful” on Stern.de. Find all previous contributions.